


Cedarwood

by ImperialMint



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Crossover, Daemon Touching, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Backstory, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-21 14:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2471375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialMint/pseuds/ImperialMint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dæmon!AU where Levi's dæmon is a black cat and Erwin's is german shepard. Starting from the beginning, Levi has never known what to think about Erwin. Somehow, they begin to stumble through a world full of titans, mysterious dust, and, perhaps the most daunting, the connection between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fill [on the kink meme](http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2848.html?thread=3325216) before A Choice With No Regrets which is why the backstory differs. It isn't complete over on the kink meme, but I want to start working on it again. 
> 
> Betaed by [lunarshores](lunarshores.tumblr.com), thank you so much. I hope you enjoy.

The cat looks half-diseased and hisses angrily as Erwin passes. He pays no mind at first, though he knows it isn’t a feral cat at all, but then he notices that the cat is watching him with more than warning in its eyes. He knows communicating with another person’s dæmon is wrong, especially down in the slums, but Erwin can’t help smiling at the cat, drawing a louder hiss from it and a minute growl in return from his side.

He looks down at his own dæmon, patting her head gently. She relaxes slightly, though the flash of her white teeth glint in the darkness. The cat has her on edge, and Erwin can’t blame her. She didn’t want to go to the slums in the first place but couldn’t do anything to stop Erwin.

“Ardis,” Erwin says gently, and the large dog huffs to herself, trotting off ahead of him. They came here for a reason, after all, and she understand what she needs to do. 

The cat follows them for a while, but it appears to grow bored. Erwin smiles to himself, knowing that he’ll see the cat again even if it leaves them for another pursuit. It’s become somewhat of a ritual when he comes to the slums, though perhaps the cat knows the reason too.

No. The cat definitely knows why Erwin comes to the slums. 

“Just talk to the boy and get this over and done with,” Ardis says, annoyance clear in her tone. Unlike Erwin, Ardis isn’t one to tone down her irritation. She isn’t short tempered by any stretch (she has to sit through the same meetings as Erwin, after all), but she won’t put up with shit if she doesn’t have to. Erwin respects that, for it’s something he simply cannot do.

“These things take time,” Erwin murmurs in reply, stepping out of the alleyway and heading for the nearby tavern. It is a seedy place, gritty and full of people that match the aesthetic, but it’s where _he_ will be. 

Erwin had stumbled upon the boy (as Ardis liked to call him) a few weeks ago. He has a price on his head – a rare feat for a slum dweller – but that wasisn’tn’t what had caught Erwin’s eye. The boy is sharp, the kind of sharp that exceeds the need to survive in the slums. He is clever, and Erwin sees potential. Great potential.

Ardis had said he smelt nice too, and if that isn’t a mystery enough for someone down in the slums then Erwin isn’t sure what was.

His team are on leave for the moment, and Erwin has spent every night so far in the slums, coming to this very tavern and watching. The first night had been an experiment, a chance to see what humanity had stooped to far away from the safety of ‘civilised society’. The brass have been giving him knowing looks, and the commander has been requesting his presence more and more often recently. Erwin isn’t an idiot, and while he had never entered the Legion wanting to front it, he can only see potential and ways to better things if he is given the title of commander.

So he wants to understand the people more. He wants to understand who would really benefit. Not the people with the money, not the ones sitting at home doing nothing and certainly not the king, but the people who work the land until their hands bleed, the people who half-freeze in the winter, and the people who have nothing to turn to but the slums and scraps. They were the ones that need help, and Erwin wants to provide that help

“It stinks,” Ardis says as Erwin pushes the door open. She flattens her ears and bristles her tail, muzzle tightening as she prepares to see off anyone who dares to overstep their boundary. Erwin isn’t flaunting their position in the legion, but the people here can probably guess. Not many people have a white German shepherd for a dæmon, after all.

“A pint,” Erwin says to the barkeep. The man’s dæmon blinks at them from the man’s beard, round eyes peering out. Ardis tracks the mouse for a moment before losing interest and sitting down at Erwin’s feet.

Erwin won’t say he is relaxed, but there isn’t any pressure here. He isn’t anyone here, and perhaps that is why it is easier for him to settle in. A few people start singing bawdily, drinks raised high as others slap cards onto a mucky table. Erwin takes a sip of his beer and nods to himself. It’s unrefined and hearty, just the kind Erwin loves. The kind that you can only find out here.

(And on that note, he doesn’t want to know what they put in it. Erwin’s put a lot of unsavoury things into his body before and he learnt long ago that it is better not to ask what you were eating or drinking sometimes.)

He sits for a while, listening to the people around the room. Despite living in squalor, they are content with what they have. The people living in higher classes could learn something from these people, Erwin thinks.

“That cat’s here,” Ardis says, lip curling to show off her teeth. Her eyes are focused on something in the shadows and Erwin follows her gaze.

“As is its human,” Erwin says softly, soothing Ardis a little by scratching behind her ear. It’s not entirely fair for him to bring her here, she’s out of her comfort zone and unable to do anything about it. At least when they fight titans, she can do something.

Nothing changes, and Erwin decides that it’s finally time they return. His team have been wondering where he’s been the past week, and Erwin knows he can’t give them a proper reason. Not one they’ll understand anyway, for what do the poor have to teach? 

Ardis is already standing before Erwin sets his empty tankard down. She stalks forward, all muscle and sinew and years of fighting for humanity, but stops in her tracks as the black cat crosses her path. Instantly, she is on edge and it’s all Erwin can do to stop her attacking the dæmon before them. He places a hand on her neck, stooping slightly, and gently pushes her outside.

“Who are you?” a deep voice asks. Erwin turns to see the cat jump onto the shoulders of a man. Of the boy. 

“Erwin Smith,” Erwin replies honestly. He doesn’t bother to ask in reply. He’s not from this world, so he’s exempt from the rules, but down here you only took, not ask.

“Keep your fucking dæmon away from mine,” he says, and Erwin raises an eyebrow. There is such intensity in the words that he only just keeps from licking his lips. Ardis perks up her ears, tongue lolling from her mouth as she pants, excitement brimming under her skin.

“You’re very interesting,” Erwin says, planting the seeds. He knew it the moment he saw him that this street dweller wanted more, craved more, and would never find it in the slums.

“Careful or I’ll think you’re some fucked-up pervert,” the man replies, and Ardis growls in warning. She’s protective, she needs to be, but there is no call for it now. The words are empty, Erwin knows that much for sure, and the man is no threat.

“I’m from the scouting legion,” Erwin says with a smile, turning to walk away. “So you were half-right. I’m not a pervert.”

Ardis is on his heels as they leave the slums, and Erwin knows that it won’t be long before he sees the man again. He has the look in his eyes that Erwin has been searching for, a look of a man who can overcome anything.

Anyone might have been able to see it if they had looked, but so few people care about the slums that they’d all missed this opportunity. Still, if it means Erwin can keep this gem to himself for a little while longer then so be it.

**.**

Levi doesn’t think about the giant dickhead’s words for a while. He doesn’t have time to, not really. He returns to his home (room, really) and wrinkles his nose. It smells like something has died in here while he’s been gone, and he shoots a glare towards the sheepish looking cat beside him.

“I didn’t eat the rat,” Kiva says innocently. “I just killed it and left it while you were away.”

Levi sighs and sends Kiva to take the dead rat out. She leaves, and he feels the uncomfortable tug in his chest twinge uncomfortably. He doesn’t like taking her out with him, and so they trained, day after day, to lengthen the bond between them. The slums are a dangerous place, and Levi has many enemies who would like for nothing better than to hurt his dæmon. Levi knows he can protect himself, but he could never bear for Kiva to be harmed. 

“There,” Kiva says, jumping onto Levi’s shoulders and wrapping herself around his neck. “No more rats.”

“Get off, you’re disgusting,” Levi says but makes no effort to remove his dæmon. She’s usually as clean as he is, but when they roam the streets, certain precautions have to be made. 

“Do we have enough?” Kiva says, and Levi looks at her as she jumps onto the counter. It’s the only counter in the room and holds a sink at the end. Other than a desk, a mattress sits on the floor and that’s it for Levi’s house. It’s not like he’s here that much, but he’s managed to do well with what he has.

“We never have enough,” Levi replies under his breath. Kiva’s ears dip down as her head sinks. She looks to the window – the best way to describe the hole in the wall.

“I should have kept that rat,” she says longingly, and Levi leaves it at that.

It isn’t until after dinner, a meagre helping of watered down-watery stew they’ve been living off for too many days, that Levi lies on the mattress and thinks about the clean-cut man who has been watching them for over a week.

“They say he’s going places in the scouting legion,” Kiva purrs as she curls up on his lap. She’s the only one Levi has ever let be so close, and he doubts he’ll ever find anyone he’ll trust to extend that privilege. Not that he wants it.

“I don’t care,” Levi says, poking a finger into Kiva’s ribs. She swats his hand away and glares at him.

“You do though. You asked me to keep an eye on him and tell you if he came back. Something about him caught your eye,” she persists, and Levi sighs, scratching her behind the ear. She is right; Kiva knows that as well, but he’s not about to admit what he’s been thinking easily. 

“Do you want to join the scouting legion?” Kiva asks quietly, though she already knows the answer.

No one wants to live in the slums forever. Naïve residents dream of someone coming to whisk them away, and other, more proactive, people go to find jobs, no matter what. Some end up in prostitution while others end up on farms. Only the desperate consider joining the scouting legion, and even then, it is almost unheard of for any to pass through training.

Still, Levi craves something more. Not farm labour or selling his body. Not pickpocketing or stealing (though he has to do that to survive). He craves a challenge, he craves escaping these dirty, squalid places, and he craves living for himself.

Everyone’s thought of joining the scouting legion. Even if they pass it off a millisecond later, everyone has. But Levi knows he has the skill to do it; there’s never been anything he couldn’t do. 

“What was he doing down here anyway,” Lei murmurs, rolling over. He’s careful not to disturb Kiva, and she rolls over slightly, onto the bed.

“Maybe he really likes the beer,” she says sarcastically, and Levi rolls his eyes. Members of the scouting legion didn’t just walk into shitty taverns for the beer. Erwin Smith wanted something, something specific.

They sleep fitfully, as always, and Levi leaves before the sun rises. Unlike certain members of the scouting legion, he has to steal to eat. He’s lucky Kiva can stray so far from him, and while it aches, it’s better than starving to death.

There’s a jolt of fear in his connection with his dæmon, and Levi abandons the mark he’s been watching for a while to run to Kiva. She’s in trouble and needs him. No one hurts his Kiva.

A heavy set mongrel and a wolf – an unusual sight for sure – have Kiva cornered between them. She looks worn out, as if they’ve chased her, and Levi hangs back for a mere second before he registers the people with the animals.

“We know you’re his dæmon ,” one of them says, his cloak fluttering in the wind. Military police, ones who hunt in the slums when they’re bored. Too scared to hunt titans, but they’d happily pick off fellow humans for a penny or two. 

Levi is clever and so is Kiva. They’ve outsmarted plenty of officers before, but these two look different. They’re dangerous, especially the one with the mongrel. Levi isn’t sure if they’re after the money or his actual head and steps out of the shadows slowly. He’s escaped imprisonment plenty of times before, and it’s sometimes easier to be caught than to waste energy shaking people off.

Plus prisons come with food and they are down to their last few dregs of stew.

“Kiva,” he calls, authoritative and back straight. His eyes level with the military police, voice dangerously low. “Leave my dæmon alone.”

If he doesn’t resist, they can’t ‘accidentally’ kill him. The wolf dæmon comes close, growling in his face, but Levi doesn’t move an inch. The mongrel’s human fires a net at Kiva and it’s all Levi can do not to run to her, take her in his arms and kill the people who have trapped her.

He doesn’t move though. To move is to allow the men to do something terrible to Kiva. Tonight they’ll have a hot meal, and then they’ll slip out, simple as that.

They do, at least, allow Levi to hold his dæmon . The wolf slobbers on the floor behind him as they walk towards one of the imprisonment facilities, one Levi’s been in before. Perfect.

They’re released into the cell and a bored looking officer reads Levi his rights – rights that don’t actually apply once the officer leaves the cell – and serves him a bowl of gloopy something. It’s decent enough, and Levi wolfs it down with Kiva.

“I’m sorry,” Kiva says softly, as if this whole thing is her fault.

Levi smiles slightly. “We could have dealt with them if we’d wanted to. They’ve fed us, and we’ll be able to get out of here soon.”

Kiva relaxes and they doze for a bit. In here they’re safe from the streets, safe from the threat of thievery (though they’d have to be pretty fucking insane to pick on Levi) and safe from hunger. Sometimes a tactical capture is the only way.

Suddenly, Kiva shoots upwards and hisses at the bars. Instantly Levi is aware, eyes narrowing as a white dog enters the space outside his cell. She doesn’t seem to be targeting them and turns to a hissing Kiva. Instantaneously, the dog drops into a defensive stance, and Levi watches carefully. Here is an animal that has been trained to fight titans, a dæmon that won’t hesitate to kill if the need arose – one who probably would kill.

And yet a dæmon who was almost unfathomably rattled by his Kiva. 

“Ardis,” a deep voice says gently, and Levi glares out at the man beside his dæmon . “We were asked to leave his dæmon alone. Besides, we’re not here for that.” Erwin has the gall to smile as they pass, heading for the office at the end of the corridor.

Whatever Erwin’s here for, Kiva won’t relax. Her fur is bristled, tail twitching in agitation, and Levi knows that they have to go now before things get too perilous. His dæmon is the most important thing to Levi, and it hurts to see her this way.

Getting out of the prison is easy. The military police forgot to check him all over, and Levi sneaks out tools he uses to pick the lock with. He’s small and knows how to keep quiet and so sneaks past guards and staff, waltzing through the front door as if he’s simply been there for a social call.

“I want to watch him,” Kiva says suddenly. She’s frozen in place in the middle of the path, head turned back to the building they’ve just escaped. “I know you want to too Levi, please-“

It doesn’t matter what Levi wants. He isn’t going to go to Erwin and beg him to help. Regardless of what he and Kiva have thought of, people from the slums just don’t get into the scouting legion.

Levi can’t deny Kiva though. He crouches in the shadows of an alleyway, making sure they have perfect view of the front door, and brings the cat onto his lap. She purrs quietly before stilling as a handful of people run from the building.

“They finally noticed that we’d escaped,” Levi says quietly. 

And then Erwin exits the building. He has a folder tucked under an arm, and his dog has her neck stretched out, taking giant strides to match her beast of a human.

Levi settles Kiva around his neck and instructs her to hold on. They’ve done this a few times before, and Levi is careful to stick a good chunk of distance between himself and Erwin. He knows that they know he’s following them – dogs have a good nose, and Levi isn’t hiding himself completely – but he wants to see how long Erwin will take to address him.

The slums turn into the town nearby, and the town nearby turns into the centre of town. People are bustling about, and Levi thinks about turning back for a moment. Kiva digs in her claws though, and he sets his jaw. No. There is no going back, not even when he looks dirty and sick amongst the ‘honest’ people. Erwin’s leading him somewhere for a reason, and Levi is determined to see it out.

Erwin enters a tavern. Levi follows and notices that it’s only just a tad more reputable than the one back home. Kiva notices too and makes a comment about Erwin and beer, but Levi’s more focused on the maid waving at him.

“He said for me to tell you he’s in the third room down the corridor.” She places a hand on her hip and frowns. “And for me to give you something to eat before you head up there.”

Her rabbit dæmon hops onto the counter as she pours water and prepares bread. It snuffles at Kiva for a moment before she opens an eye and bats it away. Kiva, like Levi, has no time to deal with meaningless pleasantries and false social meetings. Levi wants to be in the third room down the corridor and wants to know what Erwin thinks he’s doing.

“There,” the maid says, setting down a plate and a cup. “Take that upstairs. Third on the left, okay?”

She leaves, rabbit hopping after her, and Levi moves up the stairs to the side of the room. He’s well acquainted with places like this and slips upstairs like a shadow, Kiva darting ahead. She’s already entered the room by the time Levi gets there and is staring down Erwin’s dog. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” Erwin says. He’s sitting at a table, papers spread across its surface. He looks relaxed, but Levi can sense at least some of his agitation in the way his dæmon is growling at Kiva. 

Nevertheless, he joins Erwin at the table, setting down his food. It’s just bread and cheese, but Levi feels that he’s been rather spoilt today. Two meals – two decent meals – is almost a privilege. Kiva doesn’t move, defensive where she stands.

“Sometimes we have to do what we have to do for a meal.” He takes a small bite of the bread. It’s not even a tiny bit stale, most likely freshly cooked, and Levi savours the flavour in his mouth.

“I was hoping you could help me, actually,” Erwin says, and Levi looks up, disinterested. He doubts he has much to offer to a member of the scouting legion. “I’m on a recruitment drive. Numbers and morale have dropped in the past few years, and I’ve made it a personal mission to get our soldiers back into shape.”

Levi can see why Erwin’s a good member of the scouting legion. His words have a steady certainty to them, and Levi’s world tilts uncomfortably. His words are the words of a man Levi could grow to trust, and there isn’t anyone in this world he can afford to trust other than Kiva. 

“How would you like to join the scouting legion?” Erwin says, without fuss. He smiles simply, honestly, and Levi finds himself lost in the ice hidden in his eyes, unable to lie to himself.

Twenty minutes later, Levi finds himself outside once more, with instructions to pack up any belongings and take them to the training headquarters. From there, he’ll be enlisted and eventually placed in the scouting legion.

It’s almost like a dream, except for the sour look on Kiva’s face. When Levi comments that she’d always said he should follow his dreams, she turns her back and spits out her words.

“I’ll have to be around that disgusting mutt,” she comments, and Levi pauses for a moment, stoic as he thinks of Erwin.

And what does he thinks of Erwin? For once, he has no idea.


	2. Chapter 2

An expedition beyond the walls is mounted, and Erwin checks himself before looking at Ardis. Rumour has it that it’s the current commander’s last expedition, but it’s more rumour than truth so Erwin doesn’t put too much stock into it. Rumours like that have been going around since the first mission he went on and will be going on well after this one.

“Something’s not right,” Ardis says. She’s seated on the bed, head lying on her paws, and Erwin pauses in tightening one of his buckles to look at her. He trusts her intuition more than anything.

“Street rats don’t just become members of the scouting legion,” she mutters. Erwin shakes his head with a small smile and returns to suiting up. Ardis hasn’t stopped moaning about his loose-handed offer to the so-called street rat.

“It’s his dæmon,” she adds, stretching and moving off of the bed. “It’s a crazed, wild thing. How do you expect them to sit through training and be able to separate? It’s not a walk in the park.”

Erwin places a large hand on Ardis’ head and strokes her gently.

“They can already separate well enough. It’s a tough process, but they have potential.” He pauses. “A lot of slum dwellers do. It’s why I’m trying to petition to run programmes to reach out to them. We need to build numbers up, after all.”

Ardis looks away. They both know what Erwin really means. So many people die, and morale can only run so far. Stock needs to be maintained, and they need more people to fill the spaces. Not as many subjects were enlisting, and the slum people could be the boost the corps need.

“Still. I don’t like his dæmon.” Ardis walks out of the door, a step ahead of Erwin, and through the corridors of their base until they reach the stable yard.

Their teams are already assembled. Erwin greets his with a smile, standing beside his long-time friend as the others continue their conversation.

“There’s a strange smell in the air,” Mike comments, and Erwin looks at him for a moment. His attention soon turns to watch Mike’s dæmon greet Ardis. His dæmon is a hulking bear, a surprisingly quiet creature whose sense of smell rivals her human counterpart’s.

“Something’s going to happen today,” Mike finishes, and Erwin stifles a rare laugh. It's not like Mike to state the obvious.

“We’re going to fight titans – of course something’s going to happen,” Erwin replies, and Ardis looks at him tongue lolling as she pants in excitement. Erwin's smile fades, though, and he turns narrowed eyes out to where they'll be heading. He hopes Mike is wrong.

Around them, people begin to move to get their horses out. It’s time for them to leave, and Erwin looks at Ardis. She isn’t capable of joining them this time – she has in the past, but it is more common for her to stay behind – and he strokes behind her ear before she bows her head.

“You too, Burcu,” Mike says, his dæmon butting her head against his chest. She then takes a few steps back, joining Ardis with her head hung low. None of the dæmons liked being left behind, but it was better than being separated beyond the wall.

They ride out with their cloaks fluttering in the breeze and their heads held high. The commander calls for Erwin, and he lets his horse trot on to join him, sitting heavier when he’s at the front of the formation.

“There have been rumours,” the commander says, not even bothering to turn his head to look at Erwin. “And for once they’re true.”

Erwin feels nothing, simply continues looking onwards, ignoring his commander’s dæmon. It’s a small, dark bird with stout legs and a beady stare. He’s never learnt its name and knows he never will now.

“This will be my last mission. The king’s called for me to resign.” The bird dips its head for a moment, the only sign of the commander’s annoyance. The horses begin to stir under their seats, and Erwin steadies his horse gently, adjusting his weight and lowering his hands. They still have a while to go before they’re out for the gallop, and he doesn't need his horse exhausting itself.

“I’ve recommended you to take control after me. It’s still up to the brass to decide but… I don’t see why they should have any problems.” The commander turns and fixes Erwin with a stare, and Erwin nods, moving his arm into a perfect salute. This man has led them through many missions, and the thanks he gets is non existent. 

The mission is a disaster. Groups split, and Erwin narrows his eyes, trying to see who needs the most help. It’s unclear, and he curses, letting his reins out a little so his horse can stretch its neck. He can feel Ardis’ unrest in the pit of his stomach, and he presses his gelding onwards, knowing the commander will pull the mission soon enough. There is nothing they can do out here anymore, and their casualties are too great. There are too many titans, far too many for them to handle.

In the end, it’s Erwin who gives the order to retreat. The image of a little bird screaming before vanishing into golden dust is still burning behind his eyes, and Erwin wonders if this was what Ardis and Mike had meant when they said something was going to happen. He shouts loud and the order passes round, Erwin standing in his stirrups, darting between trees and titans while he tries to get as many of his soldiers back home as he can.

He heads the formation, driving them back to the safety of the wall. The soldiers have already started to address him as commander, and Erwin rides through the streets with a grim set to his jaw, trying to focus on getting the men and women he has left to medical care and to true safety. He sets his gaze forward, ignoring the mutterings of the people, and vows that his first job will be to talk to each and every soldier who overhears what the people say.

They fight a war with the titans and humanity alike. Sometimes it’s too much for some people.

Out of the corner of his eye, Erwin thinks he sees a skinny black cat dark into the shadows, but then his horse dips its head as someone grabs its bridle, and Erwin dismounts, letting Mike take his horse and their soldiers home. The man who has come to get him is a politician of some sort, a stern faced man with a cold gleam in his eyes. This is one of the men who will decide whether to entrust the scouting legion to Erwin or not, and all thoughts of black cats and their counterpart humans are wiped from his mind.

Ardis meets with them on the way there, and Erwin can feel the growl in his own throat that she wants to unleash at the politician’s wolverine dæmon. She won’t though.

They leave hours later with a new title and new responsibilities. Erwin knows that he has to shape up if he’s to command the scouting legion effectively, and his mind starts whirling with plans. He has no more time to track down black cats and traverse the city for beer.

**.**

“The commander died out there,” someone says, turning away and spitting on the floor. “Good riddance. Wasting tax payer’s money, that lot. We don't need titan killers! We're safe!”

Levi rolls his eyes and starts walking off. Kiva is quick to follow, darting into the shadows to snap at a mouse. She misses, but returns to Levi with a spring in her step all the same.

“He was at the head of the column, you know,” she says jovially as she jumps onto Levi’s shoulder. “One of the fuckers from the capitol took him off.”

Levi knows what she is hinting, and he places a hand over her mouth. He doesn’t care, not really, and yet he cannot deny what he’d felt when he’d seen Erwin fronting the scouting legion.

They hadn’t even meant to be in that part of town when the legion had returned. Levi had received a tip off about a wealthy family moving, and had started to move through the town to stake the place out. He’d been passing through when the bells had sounded and come face to face with the scouting legion.

The legion had looked utterly defeated. Not surprising now Levi knows that they lost their commander in the field and the words that are offered when the corps return, but only one of them had looked straight ahead. Erwin fronted them proudly, head up and back straight. He became a beacon for them, and Levi was moved by it, though he can’t explain why.

“He’s the kind of man you’d follow,” Kiva whispers in his ear, the traitorous creature. Levi swats at her, and she jump from his shoulder with a laugh. They’ve arrived at their home, and Levi enters with a grimace.

“I fucking hate this place,” he says to himself, sitting on the bed. He’s been thinking a lot the past few days, thoughts focusing on Erwin Smith and what he’s suggested.

He wants to join the scouting legion. After seeing Erwin and his men (because there is no way the king can let a man like Erwin free of his position – Erwin is born to lead the scouting legion), Levi knows he has so much to offer, so much potential and so much of himself to give. He doesn’t have a hero complex or any notion that he’s going to single-handedly save humanity, but if he can stand by Erwin’s side and prove that he can do anything, the poor boy from the shitty slums, then he’s gained something humanity never had.

He’ll be free.

Despite her earlier comments, Kiva seems agitated as they walk towards the stately building. Levi has been informed that this is where he will find the newly instated 13th commander of the scouting legion. He walks into the building with his shoulders squared and his dæmon on his shoulders, eyes narrowed. He has plans to talk to only one man in this building, and he dares anyone to try to stop him.

“I wondered when you would come,” Erwin says as Levi strides into the room. His dæmon is in front of his desk, standing up with fur bristled. She’s uncomfortable and so is Kiva, but she’s not stupid enough to hurt his dæmon.

“Congratulations on your promotion,” Levi says. His voice is monotonous, and Erwin raises an eyebrow ever so slightly, leaning back in his chair and abandoning the papers before him.

“I’m joining the scouting legion,” Levi says. He doesn’t see the point of beating around the bush and sets his weight more onto one leg. Erwin doesn’t look surprised. He simply nods and pulls a sheet of paper out from a stack on his desk, as if he'd known Levi would walk in exactly as he has.

“Ardis, let our guest take a seat,” Erwin says, and she moves. Her fur has settled, and there’s less anger and more curiosity in her eyes now.

“I need you to fill this out,” Erwin says, but pauses before he hands it over. “If you can, that is.” His dæmon twitches at the lack of tact, something that Kiva copies.

“Not all slum people are illiterate,” Levi mumbles, frowning. He’s always had difficulty keeping up with writing, but his reading skills are fine, and his handwriting is legible. He completes the form the best he can, unable to fill in where he lives – as if the slums have proper names people from the outside can use to locate places – and contact details.

“I didn’t mean to offend,” Erwin says, voice soft as he takes the paper back. The room is silent for a moment, and Levi fights the urge to tense up. He runs his hands through Kiva’s fur instead, twisting short strands around his fingers.

“Would you like to live with me?” Erwin says, and Levi’s eyes widen in shock. Kiva sits upright, and her back arches.

“Excuse me?” Levi retorts, shooting a look to the dog. She seems relaxed, lying down at the side of the desk with her eyes looking at them lazily.

“Would you like to live with me?” Erwin repeats, though it’s hardly a question. Levi knows that Erwin knows the answer, and Levi smiles slightly, tilting his head back. He’s always been a perfectionist, and Levi knows that Erwin is one of the best in the scouting legion. If he can learn from him then he will begin his path to being free and with a decent roof over his head.

He cannot see any reason to say no, and Kiva agrees, though she’s not too fond of the idea of sharing her space with the dog.

“I’ll clean the room while I wait for you,” Levi says, wrinkling his nose as he looks around properly. It’s not too bad, but dust covers most surfaces save the desk, and the floor could use a good scrub.

Erwin just smiles and shares a look with his dæmon, as if they’ve discovered a missing piece of a puzzle.


	3. Chapter 3

Erwin can feel Ardis’ nervousness and knows it mirrors his own. Perhaps nervousness is the wrong term though, but there is certainly something swirling in his gut as he walks through the halls of the scouting legion’s building. It is the only building they have inside the walls, yet it strangely empty. People and their dæmons are always passing through the doors here, some hardly have time to settle before their time is up.

_He should live with the other trainees,_ Ardis says silently to him, and Erwin tilts his head. They round a corner, slight footsteps the only sign of Levi following them.

_All rooms have been allocated. We have a surplus of trainees looking to join the military police. Word has sprung up it’s a cushy job with lots of benefits._ Erwin hides a grimace. People take stock of rumours and ignore the truth far too often. The military police are as corrupt as can be.

  
Ardis flattens her ears and looks up at him, clearly unhappy. Erwin ignores her- she has a tendency to be the more melodramatic of the two of them- and turns down another corridor. It’s silent in this part of the building, and their footsteps are amplified.

“The commander’s quarters are attached to a small office,” Erwin says pleasantly, not bothering to see if Levi is listening. He’s not doing this because he knows Levi is interested, but he’s easing him in, letting Levi know what he’ll be dealing with. Erwin suspects Levi was involved in shady businesses back in the slums, and he knows that he’ll need to adjust to this new environment.

Plus, out of the corner of his eye, Erwin can see Levi’s dæmon flick her tail nervously. It’s not unusual for a trainee to be nervous when entering, but Levi isn’t just another trainee. He’s already decided to join the survey corps, and his mind is set.

“We’ll have to share a room, but there’s enough space. Two beds are already installed.” There’s more than enough space in his rooms, which Erwin thinks is bullshit as he doesn’t need it. The money spent on pointless rooms could be used to fill stomachs, but Erwin knows there’s no way to protest that. A civil war would be pointless at this stage.

“There won’t be much privacy, but if you’re to join the scouting legion, your life will be in my hands regardless.” He feels Levi’s eyes on his shoulders and Ardis looks up at him, feeling the warmth in her chest as it spreads through Erwin’s.

“It’s not like I’m expecting this to be a fucking masquerade ball,” Levi mutters, and his cat dæmon jumps from his shoulders.

They arrive at Erwin’s quarters, and he unlocks the door, noting how Ardis hangs back a fraction, so she’s closer to the cat. Erwin feels the curiosity in her chest and knows that, despite appearances, she’s as curious about the cat as he is about Levi.

“The training commander will be out on the training field tomorrow. I’ll speak to him about your training then.” Erwin looks at Levi’s empty hands. “I would say you should unpack, but it seems like there’s nothing there.”

Levi simply fixes him a stare, and Erwin turns away, not fussed. Levi is his own man, and Erwin will never crush that.

“I never said thank you for cleaning my office,” he says instead and notes the jerk of Levi’s head with interest. A ‘thank you’ was probably rare for a slum dweller, and Erwin makes a mental note to thank him everytime he deserves it.

There’s a silence, but it’s strangely comfortable. Levi moves to the bed by the window, and Erwin does nothing to stop him, despite the fact that is the bed he’s been sleeping on for the past few days. If it makes Levi comfortable then he’ll happily change beds.

Ardis isn’t so complacent, however, but she yawns in annoyance instead and hops up onto the other bed.

“How far can you separate?” she snaps, and Erwin shoots her a surprised look. Ardis isn’t usually one to talk to other people, especially when she didn’t particularly like them. It wasn’t exactly common for dæmons to talk to other people anyway.

The cat hisses, and Levi reaches out to calm her. His eyes are narrowed at Ardis, and Erwin tilts his chin up, sizing Levi for who he is. It is so easy to assume Levi is a weak boy from the slums, but Erwin can see the ruthless man underneath. It’s why he had wanted Levi in the first place.

“Far enough for us,” the cat says. “Training will be easy enough.”

There is a lot of confidence in her words, and Ardis lowers her head, relaxing.

“Good,” she mutters, closing her eyes. She’s been testing them, that Levi and his dæmon’s relationship is as strong as could be. The fact it had been the cat and not Levi who answered has satisfied Ardis.

“Dinner will be soon,” Erwin says, moving to the drawers. He has some old uniforms in here, from past occupants, that haven’t been moved and thinks there might be something in Levi’s size. It would have to do until he was fitted properly tomorrow.

Levi takes the clothes with a grunt, not even bothering to turn his back as he changes. His hands began to tug at his top when Erwin speaks.

“I have a shower,” he says. Both Levi and his dæmon look up, eyes wide. “You can use it as much as you want. All I ask is that you be considerate when using the heated water.”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before Levi has scooped the clothes up in his arms and is bolting through the door Erwin has gestured ot. The cat is standing where Levi left her, eyes darting to look at Ardis, but she turns tail and follows Levi, the sound of running water starting a moment later.

“Perhaps things will be a lot smoother than I’d anticipated,” Erwin comments to Ardis as she jumped from the bed, padding over to his side. She shakes her head and sighs.

“He might not have table manners,” she says, though the words are said humorously. They know enough about Levi now to see that, despite his living conditions, he is a man who has made sure not to have a weakness. While he may not pass at court – few people do, including nobles – Levi is educated and has undertaken gruelling training by himself. Not just anyone can train to be apart from their dæmon, it takes a certain mindset.

Erwin moves to the small office, the room they first entered. It’s on the opposite side of the bedroom to the bathroom so he doesn’t notice that Levi is done until he stands rigid at the side of the desk. His hair is wet, but gleaming, and there doesn’t seem to be a speck of dust on him anywhere.

_He scrubs up well,_ Ardis comments with a wolfish grin, and Erwin fights the urge to frown.

“Are you ready to eat?” Erwin asks, and he doesn’t even have to hear the reply to see the hunger on Levi’s face. He’s likely to have been starving for most of his life and trained himself to eat as often as possible. Hopefully he will be able to control himself in the canteen, but Erwin can stop him if need be.

“Yes, sir,” Levi says, and Erwin jolts at the title. Ardis shoots a glance at Levi and ducks her head, tail dipping slightly.

“There’s no need to address me like that,” Erwin says. He accepts formal address from his soldiers, but Levi is Levi. He isn’t bound to authority in the same way that the others are and to hear the word ‘sir’ slip from his lips is wrong. He isn’t training Levi to cage him behind authority’s walls.

“Just Erwin is fine,” he affirms, and the cat tilts her head, stepping towards Ardis.

Standing up from the desk, Erwin rakes his eyes over the papers he’s spread on the table. A review of his plans to bring in people from the streets to the training corps and his third trial of a formation the legion could use to track and avoid titans when outside the walls. It’s still too early to work properly, but everything has its early days.

“Her name is Kiva,” Levi says quietly, and Erwin stills for a moment. He knows what Levi means and smiles at the cat dæmon.

“Thank you, Levi and Kiva,” he says, striding from the room with Ardis at his side.

Levi’s footsteps fall heavier this time, less street child and more soldier for humanity.

**.**

It’s not even his first full day, and Levi is already learning. He’s learnt that Erwin tends to chew on the tip of his pen when he’s looking over documents and that his dæmon kicks her left hind-leg slightly when lying down and annoyed. Levi has also learnt that Erwin Smith isn’t like anyone else he’s ever met before, and Kiva is equally as confused by them as he is.

The canteen is full with official looking men and women. Levi notices the lines on their faces, and the smudges under their eyes and wonders if this is what lies in store for Erwin.

“Commander,” people greet them, bowing their head slightly to Erwin and passing by Levi with a curious glance. Of course they’re fucking curious, Levi’s in clothes that don’t quite fit him and trailing the commander of the scouting legion like a dæmon.

Kiva jumps up onto his shoulder, fear spiking through her chest, and Levi sees why. A huge bear is walking towards them, grunting as if it is a terrible effort. It’s not alone though, and Levi relaxes a little as a man steps out from behind the bear to talk to Erwin.

“A new recruit?” he says, inhaling sharply. The bear follows suit, and the man steps into Levi’s circle of personal space, inhaling again.

“Mike,” Erwin says, his voice low and warning. It sends chills down Levi’s spine, and Kiva’s tail twitches slightly, a purr rumbling in her chest.

“You smell of ice and smoke,” Mike says, darting a look in Erwin’s direction before walking off, as if he hadn’t just sniffed Levi like his dæmon.

“Mike is…” Erwin’s mouth twists, and Ardis huffs, clearly amused by the entire affair. “Individual,” is the word Erwin goes for, leading them to the kitchen, and Levi tells Kiva that he can think of a few better words to describe the nose-man.

They are given large bowls of stew. It’s thick and full of meat and vegetables, as far cry from the watery slop Levi has been living off. He can see where the scouting legion gets their strength, and Kiva darts around his feet, the embodiment of his elation. Proper food, proper beds, a proper life.

“I want more people like you to join,” Erwin says suddenly, dipping his spoon into his stew from across the table. Someone on Levi’s bench gets up, and he shifts it closer to the table, not certain he’s heard Erwin correctly. Kiva jumps onto the bench too, peering over to stare at Ardis where she lays on the floor, eyes closed yet as alert as ever.

“More people like me,” Levi says flatly. Erwin isn’t some bloody hero who thinks he can clean up humanity’s waste, is he?

The thought must show on his face for Erwin gives a grim version of a smile.

“Most of the people in the slums die early anyway. I need people to build numbers, people who won’t be expensive to convince.” Levi notices Ardis open an eye to stare at Kiva. “I’m under no illusion I’m sending people to their deaths, but I can give a few unfortunate ones a decent meal before they die.”

Erwin doesn’t bullshit, and Levi loves that about him. Back in the slums there was always someone trying to backstab or hide a hidden agenda. It’s not that Erwin doesn’t care, but he knows that caring is pointless. He has a job to do and if that means sending people off to be sacrificed?

“Am I a trial run?” Levi says, meeting Erwin’s piercing eyes with unwavering determination. He would offer his life to this man, but he is going to have to meet him Levi halfway.

Erwin shakes his head, and Ardis sits up, staring at Kiva. Levi can feel Kiva’s emotions in his chest, but he ignores them. He isn’t completely sure how his dæmonfeels about Erwin’s dæmon, and he isn’t even sure how he feels about Erwin. One thing Levi does know is that he’s uncertain about his feelings and where they are heading.

“There will never be anyone like you,” Erwin says, and Levi looks away, shoving the next spoonful of stew into his mouth.

They let their dæmons express what they refuse to see, and Kiva shoots glances towards Ardis throughout dinner. Levi doesn’t know why Erwin makes him feel simultaneously comforted and a fish out of water, but he does.

That night, Levi stays up as long as he can to listen to three sets of breaths, clinging to the night to reassure himself this isn’t a dream, that he really is here in Erwin’s room with Kiva.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some amazing fanart by [sir-squitum](http://sir-squitum.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. It is gorgeous beyond belief, thank you so much! You can find it here: [post 1](http://sir-squitum.tumblr.com/post/105933069531/line-art-of-previous-post) & [post 2](http://sir-squitum.tumblr.com/post/105670799406/fan-art-for-cedarwood-by-imperialmint)

“I understand your concerns,” Erwin says curtly, staring down at the training officer. “But there really is no need to at least deny him a test.”

The training officer twists his mouth, and Erwin straightens. Ardis is staring at the man’s stout dæmon, a dog that seems completely enamoured with them. Erwin often uses dæmons to judge people and to get what he wants. Dæmons are more expressive of true emotions.

“It’s not really-“ the man begins to say and Ardis slides down to lie on the floor, yawning. The man shoots her a look and then to his dæmon – whose rump is squirming on the floor, tail desperate to wag in excitement – and he sighs.

“Of course, Commander,” he says with a smile. “I can get him a test, nothing more though. Anything else has to be off his own back.”

Erwin nods sharply, satisfied with the answer. He leaves the pair, business never over, to place an order with the gear section. Trainees are given their own bindings, which are only replaced if need be. Most don’t get the chance to be replaced, and the gear is taken apart and treated to be made new.

The tailors are magicians. Erwin knows they’ll have Levi’s equipment ready for the following day, and he passes the head tailor a sheet of paper with all the measurements. Levi will be fitted properly tomorrow, today they have other plans.

“It’s been a while since we saw Shadis,” Ardis says and Erwin gives a tight smile. Ardis enjoys the company of Shadis’ vulture dæmon, just as Erwin enjoys Shadis’.

From the blank stare Keith Shadis gives him, Erwin knows that he’s already heard the news. His dæmon wastes no time in swooping down to greet Ardis, and she pecks Ardis playfully, hovering in the air as Ardis snaps back in delight. Their actions gain a few looks from the trainees under Shadis’ tutelage, but they say nothing and keep their heads down.

“Your recruits are just as scared of you as usual,” Erwin says with a smile, and Shadis grunts. To anyone who doesn’t know him, it seems rude, but they’ve known each other for years, and Erwin earned Shadis’ respect years ago.

“Marley,” Shadis calls, and his dæmon looks over. “We’ll be in my office.”

The dæmons make no effort to follow them as they cross the training ground to a small shack that hosts Shadis’ office. It’s sparse, paperwork organised neatly and completed, a far cry from the state of Erwin’s office. Then again, there’s a lot more for Erwin to do for he has big plans for their division.

“I heard you’ve taken someone under your wing personally,” Shadis begins, pouring them both a drink of water from the jug on his desk. “It's an insult that you didn’t even consult me,” he mutters, and Erwin smiles softly.

“He has a lot of potential,” Erwin says. “But I merely planted the tiniest of seeds. He’s here of his own ambition and has nothing else to turn to”

“A street rat, I heard,” Shadis interjects, sipping his drink and casting a look outside. They’re both standing and he sits, shaking his head as he watches Marley dive down to gently tug at Ardis’ ears.

“Numbers need to be brought up to a certain amount,” Erwin replies, taking his own seat. His drink is untouched and a droplet of liquid rolls down the side of the glass, flattening when it hits the wooden desk.

“You’ve already managed to convince someone to let him onto a trial programme. It’s not conventional to let someone join outside of normal recruiting time, but if he’s as good as you seem to think, it could work. He wouldn’t be the first to enter training late.” Shadis takes another sip and jerks his arm slightly.

“Ardis seems to have gotten a lot stronger and faster,” he comments, and Erwin simply nods.

“You don’t know all of our tricks,” Erwin says and Shadis gives a dry bark of a laugh. “I wanted you to see Levi tomorrow. If he passes, I want him taken for training right away. He’s living with me at the moment, and I expect the arrangement is unchangeable, but I’m to be summoned soon.”

While Erwin hasn’t heard anything specific, he knows he’ll be up for review soon, only if just to see how he’s settled as a commander. He also wants to take another expedition out of the walls to try his formation. He knows there are things that need sorting out with it, but he’ll never be able to smooth it out unless he sees how it fails in action.

“You want me to watch him?” Shadis says, face unchanged yet eyes staring at Erwin in almost disbelief. Erwin resists the urge to laugh; as if he’d ask Shadis for something like that.

“He’s not a child and can easily take care of himself. I don’t want you to watch him, I want you to teach him.” Erwin sits back in his chair. “I want you to tell me what you think of him.”

Shadis’ eyebrow does rise at that, and he narrows his eyes, looking Erwin up and down.

“You have plans for this street rat, don’t you?” he says, and Erwin stands. He has nothing to say and knows Shadis doesn’t want an answer. Erwin doesn’t particularly have plans anyway, but there is something with Levi that he still cannot put his finger on.

Ardis doesn’t come to his side as he walks away, but Erwin doesn’t mind. He meets her a minute or so later, and she trots up to him happily, glad to have been able to play fight with someone and relax. Training is hard for dæmons, and it is so rare that she gets to explore outside the walls.

“Marley said she’s heard there’s a few disturbances in parliament. Counsellors getting in a fuss because of the religious cult and talk of a few people being rounded up for causing a disturbance.” She licks her lips. “Apparently some people don’t believe titans exist anymore and that we’re safe as can be.”

She doesn’t say it, but Erwin already knows what she could add on. When it comes down to it, everything is about money. People easily forget about things unless it is money, and they have forgotten the threat the titans pose and are constantly complaining about their tax money going to waste.

Ardis’ tail suddenly bristles, and her ears flatten slightly. It’s a reaction Erwin has come to recognise and, sure enough, Levi’s dæmon is standing before them in the open. Kiva doesn’t move, but she doesn’t look happy to be close to them.

“We’ve had enough,” she announces, staring at Erwin. He doesn’t show his surprise, but it is unusual for a dæmon to talk to another human, especially this dæmon. “We’re sick of following your nose-man around the property and chatting shit.”

Ardis growls at the insult, but Erwin calms her with a look. She huffs and takes to staring at Kiva instead, tilting her head.

“Where’s your human?” she says, and Kiva flicks her tail as she walks off, ignoring the question in favour for leading them. Erwin follows without a word, though his annoyance shows in the way Ardis holds herself, body stiff with teeth bared.

No one approaches them as they enter the main building, and Mike’s dæmon grunts when she sees them, shifting her weight in uneasiness. Levi hasn’t been the easiest company then, Erwin knows.

Kiva returns to her human, dark fur wrapping around his shoulders as Levi stares at Erwin. Aside from a cursory glance though, Erwin passes his attention over Levi and greets Mike. They exchange pleasantries, more to piss Levi off than anything, and it isn’t long before Mika and Burcu are vanishing around a corner.

“You’re to start training tomorrow,” is all Erwin offers before he heads towards his – their – rooms. He has a lot of work to do if his instincts are right, and he’ll be headed to the capitol soon, and Erwin wants to get it done to accompany Levi tomorrow.

“Why did you have him drag me around?” Levi asks, voice monotonous. Erwin shoots a look towards the cat dæmon, and she is staring at him in curiosity.

Erwin breathes in deeply and Ardis relaxes. He understands what Levi wants now, he and Ardis both, and doesn’t hesitate to explain.

“I wanted you to know the layout of this building. You won’t be living with the others you’re training with and will no doubt see a lot of people who disapprove of you being here because you’re still a trainee.” Erwin pauses, hesitating for a split moment. “And because you’re used to knowing your exits.”

Levi says nothing, but Kiva jumps from his shoulder to join Ardis. Their tails brush occasionally as they walk, but Erwin doesn’t mention it, and Levi just looks straight ahead.

**.**

The tailor’s dæmon looks at Kiva in alarm as she stretches, yawning to show off a row of sharp teeth. The squirrel squeaks and darts back to her human’s shoulder, staring down as Kiva curls up on the floor.

“Are we nearly done?” Levi says, bored. He’s been pushed and buckled up for at least half an hour and is getting tired of being manoeuvred around like a puppet. He gets that the tailors need to fit him properly, but he’s tiring of this and is sick of the small room

“I won’t be able to say for sure until your first week of training is over,” the tailor says, adjusting his huge glasses and scratching his dæmon’s head affectionately. “But they seem a good set.”

He’s been told that Erwin has taken care of the bill and exits the tailor room. A man with a grim look on his face is waiting, and Levi pauses, the tailor trying to shove him into his trainee jacket not a second later.

“Levi, I presume?” the man asks and his dæmon gives a screech from where she stands beside him. “Commander Smith will meet us later.”

The vulture dæmon takes off as they exit the building, and Kiva keeps her tail up, ears darting around as she takes in the new sounds and sights. Levi keeps himself fixed on the moment ahead and stares down anyone who dares to look his way, fighting the nerves in his stomach. He doesn’t want to think of what might happen if he fails this chance. Erwin has had a lot of faith that he’ll be entering training right away, but the smallest whisper of doubt has still crept in.

“My name is Keith Shadis,” the man says. They are alone near his office, and Levi looks at a bizarre piece of equipment before them. “You need to pass an aptitude test, and then I’ll have a trainee test your basic combat skills.”

It wasn’t much, but Kiva had told him that she’d heard horror stories about trainees who had failed or even died. She’d licked his cheek a moment later and told him they were better than, that and Levi believes her with all of his heart. Fuck what anyone else says, he is here for a reason, and he isn’t weak. He will do this.

“I’m ready,” he says and takes his leap of faith, letting himself experience the infamous 3D manoeuver gear first handed.

It’s not difficult. Kiva doesn’t even stir as Levi hangs in the balance, frozen. A gust of wind tugs playfully at his hair, and he adjusts his weight to counter, body perfectly still in the air.

Shadis’ vulture dæmon gives a rasping cry, and Levi is given permission to return to the ground. He looks at Kiva, and she is staring straight back at him, eyes wide. She can feel it too, the urge to float one more, the urge to fly and the urge to be free. His heart is beating wildly in his chest, and he barely notices the figure step from the building by them.

It isn’t until Erwin is clasping his shoulder firmly, and Ardis nudges Kiva with her nose that Levi realises there is no way he won’t be accepted into the training corps. He’s passed (combat will be as easy as walking), and yet he strangely feels nothing.

It isn’t until later when Erwin casually says he is proud that Levi’s stomach drops. He looks at Kiva, at her equally horrified expression and is glad Erwin’s at his desk on the other side of the room.

Something needs to be done.

“But what?” Kiva says. She has one eye on Ardis, who is sleeping beside Erwin’s desk, and Levi can feel Kiva’s want. She wants to curl up against Ardis, to feel the warmth of someone who doesn’t know her insides and outs. Levi wants it just as much, and that is why something needs to be done.

“We’re not going soft for any random fucker who is nice to us,” Levi growls in return, and Kiva huffs, still staring wistfully at Ardis.

“He’ll be going to meet with the king or whatever soon,” Kiva says, and Levi jabs her side with his foot. He’s sprawled on his bed, Kiva between his feet.

“A temporary solution,” Levi answers and, she rolls her eyes.

“Then find somewhere else to live. Ask Shadis or whatever.” She closes her eyes, and Levi can feel her closing off from him slightly. “I don’t care.”

Except she does care, and so does Levi. He risks one glance through the open door towards Erwin before he rolls on his side, ignoring Kiva’s outraged hiss as he shoves her off the bed with his foot.

They’ll figure something out when Erwin is gone. There is nothing wrong with enjoying company while they have it.


	5. Chapter 5

The carriage is waiting, and Erwin looks to the nearby clock tower to gauge the time. He still has a few minutes and waits for the tug in his chest to lessen, a sign that Ardis is returning to him. She comes into view with a purposeful trot, head up high and tail out, a warning to others that she isn’t to be stopped.

She doesn’t need to communicate her findings, and Erwin steps into the carriage with dipped shoulder and tight lips. They haven’t been able to find Levi, and it’s too late now to do anything.

“They’ve been acting strangely lately,” Erwin says, and Ardis grunts as she jumps into the carriage. She doesn’t reply, and Erwin drops the subject with a disappointed twinge he knows they both share.

They set off for Utopia, the horses making quick progress through the empty streets. It’s still early in the morning, and Ardis begins to doze. They have a while left, after all.

Erwin is left to his own thoughts, and his hand strays absently to where his gear would usually be strapped, a gesture he only makes when he is uncomfortable. He wishes that they’d said a proper farewell to Levi, but there’s nothing to be done.

For the past few days, Levi and Kiva have been avoiding them. Not overly, but enough that they both notice. Levi had withdrawn somewhat, and Erwin wants to know what could make him shy away. It’s not an issue of trust – Erwin doubts he fully has Levi’s trust, but the look in Levi’s eyes isn’t one of distrust. Erwin would almost say it was a look of fear, on the few occasions he had managed to catch Levi’s eyes, but what in the world does Levi have to fear?

“You spend an awful lot of time thinking about that brat,” Ardis comments casually, yawning widely. Erwin frowns at her before turning back to the carriage window, ignoring her comment entirely.

“Fine then,” she says, closing her eyes. “But you might want to drag your attention away from him and onto what the king wants you in for.”

She’s right.

“It’s not the king,” Erwin corrects slightly, though it might as well be the king. He’s been summoned to a performance review, nothing unusual for a man in Erwin’s position. Still, it’s what Erwin has planned that will make it unusual. Not everyone has the gall to ask for an expedition request upfront, skipping all the paperwork.

As it is, they will face a small council of politicians, military policemen and other higher ups who feel the need to stick their nose in. Erwin isn’t worried about what they’ll discuss for he has done nothing to make them dislike him just yet.

A young member of the military police greets them as they step from the carriage and into the king’s land. The recruit salutes, a gesture Erwin returns – and he notices the slackened grip of the soldier, the way their salute is more a mockery than a true one – and then they are walking onwards. Ardis glances at the recruit’s small deer daemon and is satisfied when it won’t meet her eyes. Fear is more important than one may think, and Erwin needs it to survive – both his own fear and that of others.

They are led to a small chamber room in the military police’s base. There is only one other person in the room for the moment, and Erwin mirrors Ardis’ surprise as they set eyes on the man’s elusive daemon. She has always been a flighty creature, and she hisses at them, retreating to Nile’s side as they step closer.

“I see Yakira hasn’t changed,” Erwin comments, and the large cat flicks her tail in agitation, eyes darting for the exits. “It’s good to see you again Nile.”

It’s not, not really, because Nile is a man who jumps to conclusions and ignores the blatant corruption in his organisation, but Erwin doesn’t plan to get on anyone’s bad side without good reason.

The jaguar hisses again before looking towards the door, just as a councilman enters. Nile reaches to shake Erwin’s hand, and Ardis stares blankly at Yakira, a silent challenge. Despite her form, Ardis would be able to deal with Yakira easily. Years of a military police career versus time in the scouting legion affects daemons as well as humans.

“Commander,” the councilman greets Erwin, shaking his hand. His daemon is a large lizard that waves a foot merrily towards Ardis, and they move on, just as more and more people enter to fill the room. Without prompting, they take their seats, Ardis sitting straight at his side at the round table.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” the lizard daemon man says. “This is just to make sure you are coping with your new position and a chance for you to discuss anything you feel is needed.”

They can’t have a complete idiot leading their most costly branch, after all. It’s the scouting legion people talk about, after all.

Erwin nods and waits for the man to continue. Ardis’ ear twitched slightly, but she stills, Erwin’s impatience a twinge between them.

“We have interviewed a few of your peers, most notably Keith Shadis and Commander Nile Dawk. All reports have been positive, and we’re happy to progress without a full character profile session.” The man flips a page of the file before him, the lizard opening its eyes slowly before falling into a light snooze once again.

“Do you have any plans for the scouting legion?” the man asks, and Erwin stands, drawing a few murmurs from around him. Nile looks suitable uncomfortable, and Erwin knows why. Erwin’s never been one to sit silently if he wants something.

“I have almost finalised plans for a new formation when outside of the walls,” he begins and feels Ardis sensing the daemons around them. None of them seem annoyed or upset at the question and so Erwin continues. “We would need an expedition to test the formation, but I have calculated that it could lover casualties to perhaps thirty, forty per cent.”

Ardis’ ears flatten as people begin to talk between them. Nile looks miserable, and his daemon is crouched beside him, teeth bared in Ardis’ direction. An expedition means money, and money means fewer liberties for the military police.

“Are you sure being commander hasn’t gone to his head?” someone asks, and Ardis growls deep in her throat. It’s not possible to hear it, but someone says something back, and the reply is lost to more shouts.

Erwin closes his eyes for a moment. He should have known the meeting would end up like this – Shadis had said he should have turned up drunk – and he nods to Ardis.

She wastes no time and springs onto the table. The only other daemon on the table is the chairman’s lizard and it opens its eyes lazily as Ardis stands straight in front of Erwin. He salutes perfectly as she barks, low and commanding, and the room falls silent.

“My formation does need to be perfected, but it is a system where every soldier can contact each other. I will not continue expeditions at the loss rate we are experiencing at the moment. Humanity cannot afford that loss, our armies cannot afford that loss, and their families cannot afford that loss.

“I was made a commander to look over these men and women who are offering their lives to humanity. I will not take any actions that will endanger my oldies when I know there is a way to save more of them.” Erwin took a deep breath, and Ardis pushed her chest out, dark eyes staring blankly at a wall hanging of the military police’s unicorn.

“I will keep my oath to the king and to humanity and bring as many people home as I can. We will eradicate the threat the titans pose to us, but we cannot do it with current conditions.” Erwin looks directly at the chairman and drops his hand. Ardis jumps off of the table, and they sit in perfect synch, heads held high.

Silence reigns for a moment before the chairman claps his hands. It’s a few beats of his palms before he stops, but it is enough for people to take their seats again in silence.

“Not many people have the guts to do something like that when they’re the one up for review,” the chairman says, and his daemon stands slowly. “I’ve heard a lot of things about you, Commander Smith, and I think I’ll hear a lot more in the future.”

He closes the file with a thump, and his lizard climbs onto his shoulders.

“Your expedition will need the valid paperwork, but I think we can all agree that’s merely a formality. I want to take a look at your formation though. I’m sure there will be another summons for you upon your immediate return.” The councilman takes a glance around the room, and there seems to be a murmur of agreement all around.

“Until next time then.” He nods his head, and people stand, leaving their places once the chairman has left. Erwin keeps his breathing steady, and Ardis manages to keep her tail from wagging until it is just them, and Nile in the room.

“I’m to escort you back to your carriage,” Nile says, though he makes it sound as if he’d rather swallow poison. “That was a clever little stunt,” he adds, and Erwin looks at him as they walk through the corridors.

“We do what we have to do to survive,” he says, and Ardis snaps her jaws as Yakira steps too close for her liking. Ardis is never like this to any daemon, including Kiva, and it shows how little respect she has for the jaguar. And, in turn, what Erwin thinks of Nile and the corruption in his branch.

“You carry on like that, and you’ll die soon,” Nile says as they leave the building. It’s a sunny, warm day, and Erwin takes a deep breath.

“I have no plans to die anytime soon. The titans don’t scare me as much as the people inside the walls.” He smiles, though it can’t be called a pleasant one. “Just stick to what you do best, and I’ll stick to what I do.”

They enter the carriage then, and Nile’s wide eyes vanish as the horses start off. It is only then that Erwin lets his guard down. His little show exhausted him, and while he is a composed man, he reaches for Ardis and she jumps enthusiastically into his arms. She needs him just as he needs her.

“We’re strong,” she whispers in his ear, and Erwin buries his nose into her fur, holding her closely.

“We are,” he agrees, and he lets Ardis go. She stays sprawled half on his lap and half on the seats, nose probing at the gem around his neck, his mark as a commander. The world weighs heavy yet they are not alone in holding it. They have every member of the scouting legion and every human they need to protect.

“I had hoped to skip the paperwork,” Erwin says softly, and Ardis lets her head fall onto his lap with a snort of laughter.

“You’re a commander now, Erwin. Paperwork is all you’ll be doing.” She pauses and looks up with mischief in her eyes. “You should have made Levi your secretary.”

Erwin smiles and closes his eyes, resting his head back.

“At least we’d know where to find him if we had.”

*

“We’re not going to get anywhere if we live in a broom cupboard for the next year or whatever,” Kiva snarls, and she pushed the mop into Levi’s side just for effect. She is miserable – Levi is too – but he just shrugs and tries to get comfortable, despite his foot being wedge in a bucket and a mop resting on his head.

“We’ve dealt with worse,” he mutters, and Kiva hisses.

“We have a perfectly good bed in Erwin’s quarters and instead we’re slumming it in a cleaning cupboard because you can’t find anywhere else to live and you want to avoid him?” She hisses again, going for the door handle.

“Fuck this, Levi,” she says, pulling it down with all her strength. It opens, and she pushes it, running off down the corridor with her tail held high.

Levi sighs and pushes the mop out of his face. Okay so perhaps Kiva is right. They have been sleeping in this cupboard for a few days now and retreated to it until Erwin had left for Sina… but he really doesn’t want to see Erwin.

Still, they should be safe now. He’s skipped lunch to hide, but he’s survived on less food. He should return to the training grounds – they have combat practice, which technically Levi doesn’t need, but he should show face just to be good – but the pull of his bond to Kiva leads him somewhere else.

“We’re not going there,” Levi says to himself. He starts following the pull, however, and finds himself staring blankly at the office he’s been avoiding recently. Kiva is sitting smugly beside the door, and Levi sighs.

“Shadis said he’d look into proper quarters,” Levi tries to reason, but Kiva is having none of it.

“Even if it’s just one last time,” she pleads and, well, Levi can’t bring himself to say no to her.

They enter, and instantly Levi is struck by Erwin’s presence. The man himself is long gone, but his scent remains, and he scowls at the ink marks on the desk. Papers are strewn across the desk, and he takes a quick look, noting with interest a few plans and crossed out notes on a formation plan.

They move on, to the bedroom. It is just as they left it, neat and impersonal. Erwin has no personal effects in his room, nothing that says attachment. Levi doesn’t know if that’s better or worse for a commander, but he can’t see Erwin dying easily.

“I bet he’s the sort who would drag himself back out of the titan just to finish the mission,” Levi says, and Kiva sniggers, rolling on the bed with a delighted grin on her face. She’s certainly missed the comforts of sharing a commander’s quarters.

“We have training,” Levi says, uncomfortable being in a space that is so Erwin. There is nothing for him or Kiva here anymore, and he leaves, ignoring the ache in his chest as Kiva stays behind for a moment. He can feel her annoyance, and she struts ahead of him when they leave.

Deep down she understands, but they have gone without for so many things that Levi can’t blame her. Erwin is safe – safe in the sense that they can become lazy with him. Yes, they like Erwin (perhaps more than strictly appropriate) but they needed to find their own way in the scouting legion.

They hadn’t lived on the streets for nothing.

Training passes slowly. Levi sits at the side for most of it, ignoring Kiva as she dreams of Erwin’s bed and rolling his eyes at the pathetic attempts of fighting around him. He wishes he could show them all a thing or two, but Shadis warned him to be easy on them after he’d taken down his opponent in the blink of an eye on his entry test.

“Half of them won’t even be able to split a decent distance away from their daemons,” Levi says, and Kiva snaps out of her daydream for a moment. She casts an eye over the recruits and turns her nose up instantly.

“Some of them haven’t even settled,” she says, and Levi shrugs. It’s not a rule that one’s daemon has to have settled, but it’s impractical. Late bloomers tended to fall behind and were the ones who died the quickest.

The clouds clear, and Kiva stretches out in the warmth. In the sunlight, her fur looks a dull blue, and Levi strokes her side gently. She means the world to him, and he couldn’t fathom what he’d be without her.

“Levi!” someone calls, and Levi looks up to see the training officer. He is a young man with a scar running down the entirety of his left arm. His daemon is a kindly natured horse, one who has a prominent limp.

“Come and train,” the officer says, and Levi looks down as he rolls his eyes. It’s not much of a training session when he could beat them all, but he agrees and joins the recruits as they run around the training yard. He has nothing to lose, after all, and plenty to gain.

The evening meal is heavenly. It’s only a simple stew, but it’s hearty and, best of all, free. Levi always takes time to eat every scrap, and Kiva looks on in happiness. Their bellies are always full, now, and despite the threat of death in his future, Levi knows this is the best decision they have ever made.

Just as he is leaving the food hall, a hand claps him on the shoulder. Heavy wing beats follow and Shadis’ daemon lands beside Kiva, stretching her neck out and letting Kiva sniff her beak cautiously.

“I have a room for you,” Shadis says and Levi looks up at him in interest. “I’ve had some recruits move your things in already, and you’re sharing with six others.”

Levi nods, grateful for all Shadis has done.

“Thank you,” he says, and Kiva bumps her head against Marley’s wing. Levi thinks people have Shadis down all wrong. The man does care, though he doesn’t show it. His daemon’s the one who expresses it.

It turns out that Levi’s room is a decent room. It’s big enough, and his bed fits snugly in the corner. One of his roommates is already there, and Levi walks in with a blank look on his face, Kiva around his neck.

“So you’re the one moving in,” a blond haired man says with a raised eyebrow. His daemon is a yellow-eyed eagle, eyes focused on Kiva and narrowed, as if trying to understand her. Kiva simply stares back, bored of the attention just as Levi is.

“My name is Levi,” he says monotonously. His bag of belongings is on his bed, and Levi pulls out some casual clothes, glad to be able to get out of his 3D manoeuvre gear. He’ll get used to it one day, just not yet.

“I’m Erd,” the blond man says and waves a hand at the empty beds. “We also share with Marcus, Leon, Tomas, Alex and Gregory.” He says no more, and Levi grunts in return, lying on his bed with a book instead. He doesn’t care about Erd or any of the others. All he cares about is that he’s away from Erwin now.

“I won’t be a bother,” Levi says after a while, feeling the combined stares of Erd and his daemon on him.

“This is Valda,” Erd says, and Levi looks up from his book. The eagle gives a screech, and Kiva bolts upright, fur on end at the challenge.

“It’s okay, Kiva,” Levi says, though he’s not sure he likes Erd and his daemon much. They are a strange pair, yet he can taste the potential around them. They were ones to look out for at the very least.

“Just keep your shit to yourself and we’ll get along fine,” Levi says, returning to his book. Thankfully Erd finds something else to do and the prying eyes fade away from their backs. Kiva relaxes slightly, but she’s not as comfortable as she was in Erwin’s bed.

Neither is Levi.

_I wonder what he’s doing,_ Kiva says to him and Levi turns a page of his book, trying not to think about the giant of a man who had swept them away from the streets.

_Taking a shit out of relief probably. His meeting should be over now._ Kiva swats at his reply, amused all the same.

_I wonder if he’ll come to find us tomorrow,_ and Levi’s heart leaps at the thought. Which is bad, really, really bad. Because he can’t afford to owe anyone anything, and Erwin is certainly not going to get his heart or anything like that.

He feels Kiva’s laughter and closes his book with more force than necessary. Erd looks over at him in something that could be concern, but Levi tucks himself up instead, pulling Kiva to his chest.

_If he is having a shit,_ Levi whispers to her as they close their eyes, _I hope it’s the most satisfying shit he’s ever had._

  
That is the sort of thing you wished upon people you liked, right?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the anon on tumblr - i have a massive chunk still waiting to be posted so i'm super sorry for being so slow! I'll try to keep to a regular updating pattern again now :D

The rain beats down heavily as Erwin does a round of their grounds. Ardis’ head is hung low, the only sign of their discomfort in their wet uniforms, and they walk quickly, people ducking out of their way with tight-lipped salutes as they pass. 

_They’re scared_ , Ardis observes, and Erwin shoots her a glance. They exit the free form area and enter the training area. 

_They’ve learnt there’s to be another mission outside the walls, a fully experimental one at that._ Ardis tilts her head to his words before dropping it back again. Erwin has nothing to fear, but his soldiers are less than happy at the prospect of another mission.

It’s not hard to see why. Their survival rate is so low well over half often never make it back. Erwin hopes they can put an end to that with his strategy, but he needs practice.

“We’ll have to gather a meeting,” Erwin says aloud, nodding to a group of trainees who are at the side of the grounds, trying to stay out of the rain unless they have to. They all straighten up, their dæmons ducking away in shame. 

“And run a few drills here. Of course it won’t be the same as the actual mission, but they want their paperwork processed just so.” Ardis rolls her eyes, ignoring the mud staining her fur. They are both sodden through, but they keep their eyes lifted, and they are rewarded with the sound of wires whizzing through the air.

It’s Levi, of course. Erwin has anticipated as much, but Ardis’ ears flick forwards nonetheless and Erwin feels his heart jump in his chest. He’s surprised if anything; he thought he’d buried these emotions years ago.

Of course a little rain wouldn’t stop Levi though. Out of all the soldiers to take the brunt of the weather, Levi wouldn’t let rain stop him training. Erwin pauses to watch, a critical eye taking in the off adaptation Levi has made to handling his gear. An unconventional backwards hold, but the training corps have dealt with stranger techniques in the past, and Erwin finds a little unconventionality is often the line between life and death.

They do not linger long. At least not intentionally. Shadis stops them with a fierce look, and Erwin straightens. He last saw Shadis upon his return from Utopia the previous evening, where the man informed him of Levi’s move. He isn’t here to cause trouble though, and Erwin gives a soft smile.

“He’s on the level of his fellow roommates,” Shadis says, and Ardis looks at him, refusing to sit down in the puddle she’s standing in. 

Marley is nowhere in sight, but it’s not an overly uncommon occurrence. For veterans such as Shadis, who have seen the most hellish of sights, space is sometimes a comfort. When one is separated from their dæmon with walls between, sometimes it is best not to share certain memories of things that go on or things one has done.

“He’ll be graduating a year early then?” Erwin says, and Shadis hums in reply. They stand in silence, the rain streaming over their skin, until Shadis’ eyes narrow, and he looks from Levi to Erwin.

“Whatever you see in him, you’re the only one who will be able to bring it out.” Shadis fixes Erwin with a long stare, one that Erwin meets with ease, before he nods and walks off, the rain falling so heavy that it masks his heavy footfalls.

_The only one?_ Ardis questions, but Erwin has no need to answer. There is nothing he can really say, and he passes through the rain like a ghost, sparing no more glances towards Levi and continuing their rounds.

It is much later that they are dry and seated behind a desk. Erwin is running through the last copies of his information handouts and has a stack of papers by his side that he’s been pouring over for the last few hours. They are profiles of each member of his division, and he knows them all by name now. Not that he didn’t before, but now he knows all their skills and knows where they’ll be best suited.

“I’m going for a walk,” Ardis announces and Erwin raises an eyebrow. It’s not that it’s strange for Ardis to go for a walk, but Erwin can sense the purpose. He should have guessed, they hadn’t seen Kiva through all the rain – if she’d even been outside – and he nods, returning to his paperwork.

He can pinpoint the exact moment Ardis sees Kiva. He hasn’t realised how late it is, but the food hall is bustling. Erwin will be able to get something a little later, and it’s best he doesn’t see Levi just now anyway. Levi left for a reason, and Erwin still isn’t sure how he feels about it. He should be relieved, but here is a hollow ache in his stomach he doesn’t want to think about – and so he doesn’t. 

But Ardis is the embodiment of his soul, more or less. It’s true she needs to act in a certain way as her human counterpart is the commander of the scouting legion, but she is a dæmon at the same time. Despite what front she puts on, Erwin knows she likes Kiva – and knows that he likes Levi. What exactly that like details, Erwin tucks away and focuses instead on his papers.

Still, he smiles briefly as he feels the pure joy Ardis experiences when she sets eyes on Kiva. No doubt her tail is quivering, yet she is a proud animal. Ardis won’t make a fool of herself and, true to Erwin thoughts, he feels their connection tightening as she makes her way back.

“Are they well?” Erwin says when Ardis noses the door open. She shuts it and glares at him.

“Yes actually.” She sniffs. “Who’s the recruit with the snake eagle dæmon?” Ardis demands, and Erwin feels something strange settle on his shoulders. It’s not unlike the time his first team were taken out by a rogue titan, which puzzles Erwin.

“Erd Gin,” Erwin says straight away. He’s memorised hundreds of dæmon and people in his lifetime and knows the most interesting ones. “A second year recruit, currently one of Levi’s roommates.”

The information sinks into Ardis, and she huffs, flopping onto the floor.

“He’s sitting close to Levi,” she explains a moment later, and Erwin smiles to himself, looking back at the papers.

“Levi isn’t ours,” he comments softly, ignoring the disbelief that passes through his connection to Ardis. 

She mumbles something that sounds something like ‘tell that to him’ before rolling on her side and stretching. It isn’t long before she is asleep, and Erwin rubs his eyes. 

The papers are done, and he can get someone to hand them out. A few more day of running through drills, and they should be set to take on their formation outside.

They don’t have time to think about Levi. Perhaps Erwin will spare some time when they return, but he needs his formation to work, and his legion will always, always come first. Ardis mirrors this feeling, and she opens her eyes as Erwin goes to hand his papers off, licking her lips in anticipation of fighting the titans once again.

They were all born into war, after all.

**.**

The main portion of the scouting legion are holding drills, or so Levi has heard. It explains why Erwin isn’t pacing the training grounds and why a lot more trainees are slacking off. Shadis is nowhere to be found either, and Levi wonders if he’s gone to watch Erwin.

Levi doesn’t slack off though. He’s heard all about the scouting legion’s latest mission and knows that they’ll be leaving tomorrow. Everyone is unsettled, but instead of actually doing something about it, the training recruits are milling around, more concerned with talking than training.

But what do most of them know? They’ve never known true fear for their lives. Levi and Kiva faced it every day back in the slums and know they’ll have many more days where they fear. But it’s that fear that pushes them, and that fear that keeps them sharp.

There is one recruit, however, who Levi sees potential in. At the moment he’s on the outskirts of a small group, but his fingers keep twitching towards his manoeuvre gear and eyes keep sliding to the training grounds. Erd is a proper soldier, and Levi knows that they will get on well, even if they never really speak.

“You’re leaning too far forward,” Kiva comments casually, eyes tracking some tiny flies. Levi corrects his posture as he stretches, ignoring the pop of bones.

While he wants to keep training – it will never be enough, after all – Levi also knows they need food Besides, the food hall is the best place to find out gossip (though he loathes the word), and he wants to know how Erwin is doing. Just to make sure he isn’t following a complete madman.

Erd takes a seat beside him, and they eat in silence. Levi listens though, and Kiva darts around the hall, hissing at dæmons on all sides until she gets what she wants. Through her, Levi learns that the scouts leave early tomorrow and are not expected back until the late afternoon. There is also doubt that Erwin will be able to lead them at all, and Levi ignores the way he wants to wrap his fingers around those who doubt.

He doesn’t know Erwin, not really, but Levi can’t stand for the man’s honour to be torn down by scared trainees who were here for the supposed glory.

They leave after polishing off their stew. Levi can feel Erd’s dæmon tracking them with its bright eyes, but he pays no heed. It’s just Erd’s way, a slight comfort. He has Levi’s back, and Levi hopes he survives his missions. Levi could have use for him later on, should he choose the scouting legion, that is.

“We saw Erwin when he came back from his first mission,” Kiva says, springing up Levi’s back to settle around his neck. They’re headed back to their barracks, and Levi nods.

“He took over command though. This time he already has it.” Levi can’t keep the doubt from his voice, and he hates himself for it. When has he ever doubted himself?

What is it about Erwin Smith that makes Levi act like a fool?

“I heard Ardis is going outside too,” Kiva comments, and Levi feels the uneasiness in her stomach. He doesn’t like it, doesn’t like that uneasiness whenever Kiva gets it, because it usually means that something bad is about to happen.

“They’re not engaging titans though,” Levi points out, and Kiva curls tighter around his neck.

“You can’t predict what a titan will do,” she counters, and Levi falls silent, reaching a hand up to soothe her fur. 

They’re both worried about Erwin. Not because the man won’t return – even if he was just a head, Erwin would return, he was almost as stubborn as Levi himself – but because there are worse things than death waiting beyond the wall. It is his first mission as commander too, and Levi doesn’t want to think about what might happen should Erwin’s leadership skills fail him.

Levi isn’t a pessimist, but he always thinks of the worst options because often it is the worst option that occurs. The worst option when venturing outside the wall? Being separated from one’s dæmon. 

“They are strong,” Kiva whispers, though her voice is miserable. She is unsettled by the unusually cold weather anyway, but her mood is doing nothing to relax Levi. He doesn’t show it, would never dream of showing it, but his emotions are running rampant in his mind.

He’s never felt like this before, and he hates it.

Yet he loves it at the same time.

They wake early to find that the scouts have already left. Levi had been looking forward to seeing them off (hidden, of course, he doesn’t want to see Erwin yet), but he turns to training in vigour. Sweat is pouring off of him by the time lunch comes around, and he shakes Erd off, focusing on stamina training instead. He won’t stop until Erwin returns, it seems like a fair trade.

They all know when the scouting legion has returned. A bell tolls further out and soon the clatter of exhausted horses fills the yard. Tired soldiers dismount and regroup, hands reaching for one another to confirm they are indeed alive and safe. 

Levi ceases training, stepping away from the reunion ceremony. People are happier than usual, though no one is happy. Casualties are down, it seems, and Levi wonders if Erwin has already gone to report their mission findings to the higher ups.

Levi passes Mike as he wanders the corridors. They are near the medical wing – the most equipped wing the scouting legion has access to and filled with their wounded – and it hasn’t even occurred to Levi that here is where Erwin might be lurking.

It only takes one look at the way Mike is standing pressed against his dæmon with his hands clenched in her fur that Levi knows what he will find inside. Kiva instinctively jumps onto her place around his neck and burrows her head deep against Levi’s skin. Inside the ward, dæmons of all shapes and sizes are reacting the same way, all keeping close to their humans and shying away from the end of the ward, where a curtain surrounded one area completely.

It is almost unnaturally still, and Levi feels bile rise in his throat as he thinks of what lies behind that curtain. No one should ever have to sacrifice so much and Levi doesn’t need to be told that this happened through Erwin sacrificing himself for something.

“Ardis,” Kiva whines, claws digging into Levi’s skin. He places a hand on the curtain and slips through, eyes widening slightly at the sight before him.

“Erwin,” he murmurs softly, though the man doesn’t hear him, eyes focused on something neither of them can see. He is pale, but alive. He is shaken, and Levi knows he would have continued their expedition to the highest calibre, no matter what, as it is most likely the first time Erwin has sat down and really taken in what happened beyond the wall.

“Ardis,” Kiva whines again, claws digging in even more. The discomfort helps offset the wrongness of the situation, and Levi finally tears his eyes from the shadow of Erwin to look at the bed. Ardis lays still, eyes closed and body limp. She is alive, but the bandages she is wrapped in mean there is no knowing when she will wake.

Regardless of what he feels, Levi knows that Erwin will need him, and he is prepared to give him everything he needs.

**.**

Training goes well. The horses respond well to the formation – they are herd animals after all and being in smaller groups cuts down their nature to spook each other – and his soldiers begin to grow comfortable with the formation.

“One more time for today, and then we’ll pack up for the night,” Erwin calls from the back of his bay gelding. They’re setting out tomorrow morning, and it’s prudent everyone gets a good night’s rest. They’ll all need to focus heavily the following day.

They run the drill again, practicing when Erwin calls out. He shouts for standard titans, aberrant titans, trees, anything he can think of, and is pleased when the formation responds. Of course they’ll be more spread out when they exit the safety of the walls, but everyone has the basics down.

Dæmons have been practicing with them too, and Erwin is pleasantly surprised. He’s asked that the dæmons who can accompany them as it’ll provide less distraction and the soldiers will be able to focus on the mission. This is a strategy mission, one that requires all confidence to be on their mission, not back with their worried dæmon.

Erwin calls for the end of their training session, and they make their way out of the large training field and towards the stables. Erwin rubs his horse down and goes to fetch his dinner. When he returns with a bucket and hay net, Ardis is curled up against the horse’s side, the pair dozing softly on the ground. The horses all get rest when they know they can; they can always sense when there is a mission ahead of them.

“Here you go, boy,” Erwin says softly, and his gelding rises with a content snort, playfully butting Ardis with his muzzle. Ardis wags her tail and they leave the horse to his dinner, smiling at the yard staff who will make sure he’s tucked in properly later.

Soldiers join him as he walks back, and they commend Erwin on his formation strategy. He sees the slight worry in their eyes and makes sure to reassure them all with a firm hand.

“We can win against them,” he says, believing it with his entire heart. “This is the first small step on the way for humanity winning.”

A squirrel dæmon chatters with wide eyes, and a lemur springs away from its human to walk beside Erwin for a few moments. He can tell that these people believe his words, they respect him, and he will do everything he can to bring them back alive.

Yet if they die? Erwin is willing to risk that too. He doesn’t owe individuals anything. It is humanity he is fighting for, not individual humans.

The barracks are in a separate building to Erwin’s office and quarters, but he follows the soldiers in and orders anyone he sees out to bed. They have a harsh day tomorrow, and he will not have people dying from lack of sleep.

Taking his own advice, Erwin and Ardis head straight to bed. Ardis curls against him, and he holds her tightly.

“Take care tomorrow,” Erwin whispers into her fur. She grunts back, but Erwin can feel her true reply in his gut. She’ll do all she can, she reassures. She has no intention of fading to dust.

They take whatever sleep they can get, but Erwin wakes in messed up sheets, the fabric twisted around his thighs and pillows displaced onto the floor. Ardis sleeps through it all, but Erwin can’t help the twist of nerves in his stomach. He rarely gets them, but he thinks now is as good a time as any. Titans can’t be predicted, no matter how many plans Erwin backs his originals up with. Still, this formation is designed to give them all more time, and time should be all Erwin needs to come up with a new plan.

In theory.

He is thankfully asleep again when dawn comes, and he wakes at his usual hour. The air has a slight chill to it, but it is refreshing and a good omen. Erwin suits up quickly before striding purposefully to the training grounds.

The scouting legion is there, cloaks fluttering in the light breeze, tens of wings beating in time with human hearts. Today is their day, and Erwin nods for them to collect their horses.

The horses have been tacked up already and greet their riders with enthusiasm. Despite the danger, they do enjoy the long runs the outside world provides, and Erwin’s horse bobs its head as Erwin mounts, a little too eager to set off.

“Shh,” Erwin soothes, lowering his hands. “We’ll be off soon.”

And so they are. It feels natural to lead a column of soldiers, and Erwin keeps his back straight, eyes focused on their exit. It’s early enough for them to trot through the empty streets – the only ones out now are those selling goods, and their stalls are set up enough to the side for the legion to pass.

It doesn’t take too long before they approach their final barrier. The door to the outside world opens, and Erwin shoots a look down to the ground, down to where Ardis is panting in excitement. He spares a few more glances to check other dæmons and can only find anticipation. They didn’t join the scouting legion to sit behind desks, this was their true calling.

Erwin raises his right arm as the gates open, and their horses erupt into a gallop. Dæmons surround them and for a moment, all Erwin can feel is giddy excitement. He catches the eye of his corporal and smiles, looking next for the hulking form of a bear and nodding his head to Mike.

The horses rein in to a canter, a pace that they will be able to keep up, and groups branch off. Fingers check pouches where the smoke guns are kept, and Erwin shouts out to everyone, telling them that they can do this.

It takes a short while before the first shot is fired and they move the formation accordingly. Ardis lets out a bark in frustration as another dæmon – a puffin – swoops too low, but it is a minor blip, and Erwin just shakes his head, leaning forwards in the saddle a little more, so his gelding pushes on a bit.

Though he warned his soldiers about the possibility an aberrant might occur, it is when they are in their second phase of training (around early afternoon) that the first plume of black smoke streaks towards the sky. It is close to Erwin’s group, and he indicates for the formation to turn slightly to the left. He needs to know that they can out manoeuvre titans, and that they can take down aberrants easily with this formation.

So Erwin goes, allowing his corporal to take charge in a clumsy swapping of guns. Mike is in his group too, and Erwin trusts their judgement almost as much as his own. 

The titan is an ugly one, even by titan standards. It has polished off five soldiers by the time Erwin, and two support groups have arrived. There are no trees around, and Erwin nods for Ardis to stand back for the moment. This is going to be difficult, and Erwin will need the full cooperation of his soldiers.

They circle the titan, ignoring its open maw and droopy eyes. It has thinning hair and stubby arms, but that doesn’t stop it from dancing its way unpredictably around them. Erwin grits his teeth, and nods for a pair to attack. He is standing behind the titan and watches in satisfaction as they move in perfect synch and manage to trip the titan, the third member of their group slicing the neck of the titan and killing it.

All in all it is over quickly with minimal fuss. Hardly any soldiers died (relative to those still alive), but Erwin returns to his horse in horror. His heart drops and his stomach churns as he takes in the sight of his horse on its side, stomach opened by a rib that has cracked, most likely from when the titan lashed out. 

There is an even more horrifying sight beside the gelding though. Ardis is struggling to stand, her hindquarters trapped by the horse’s corpse. Pain lances up Erwin’s own back, and he knows she has taken serious damage. There is nothing he can do though and adrenaline courses through his veins as he sees red smoke flare up from across the formation.

With every step he takes, the pain intensifies, but Erwin keeps a stern face. Dæmons around them flee to their humans, tucking against them where they can or whimpering as they watch Erwin push the dead horse off of Ardis. It is unnatural to see a hurt dæmon, even in the scouting legion, and Erwin takes her in his arms tenderly, fighting off the shock that is creeping in to overtake him.

They cannot rest beyond the walls.

A horse is led beside him. The whites of its eyes are showing and its head is raised high in fear. Erwin grabs the reins a little more harshly than intended and puts Ardis gently across the shoulders of the horse. He mounts behind her and pulls the horse’s head in, the only way he can get the horse to calm down.

It seems to sense Erwin’s power and submits, white foam falling from its mouth to the floor. Fighting titans is as stressful for the horses as it is people, and Erwin knows that they are done for the day.

Mike and the corporal share worried looks as Erwin returns to them. He doesn’t say anything, just accepts his guns and fires the round that signals for a retreat. He’s found out enough about his formation, and his entire mind is screaming out for his dæmon. She isn’t dust yet, but Erwin can feel her slipping away and fear is beginning to claw at him from the inside out.

The mission can be counted a success, and it is perhaps one of the first times they ride through the lower towns with their heads held high. In total, thirteen men and women were killed, the lowest number of fatalities a mission has ever seen (though their purpose had been to test the formation, not engage titans unlike other missions).

Erwin isn’t looking at the people as they pass though. His horse bounces with its ears flicked back, anger welling from its core. Erwin wonders who rode this horse before and commends them for keeping it under control.

He looks down at Ardis, her body slung in front of him. She is motionless aside from her breathing and the horse’s carriage, and Erwin loosens one of his hands from the reins to clutch at her fur.

Wounded soldiers join Erwin as he hands off his horse and marches to the infirmary. He makes sure everyone knows he will see them later, and they nod in understanding, stepping away from him and the unnatural sight of an almost lifeless dæmon and stoic human.

He is their commander, though. He will never show weakness, not even a weakness that others considered human.

At the infirmary, a nurse with a red wolf dæmon and tight lips directs them to the end, where she promptly pulls the curtains and shakes her head. Her dæmon whines as Erwin places Ardis on the bed, and the nurse directs Erwin on what he should do, wrapping her in support bandages so the damage doesn’t worsen if she moves.

Dæmons work differently to humans, and the nurse inspects Erwin too. She doesn’t venture close to Ardis and most certainly does not touch her. Unless it is absolutely imperative, not even medical personnel touch another’s dæmon.

“There’s not much we can do,” the nurse says, stroking her dæmon behind the ear. “She seems to have fractured her hip, but it should heal within the week if you rest. She is linked more tightly than ever to your emotions right now and only you can heal her.”

The nurse pauses. “It would be best to keep her here until she has woken up. After that you can take her back to your quarters.”

The wolf whines, and Erwin feels himself drifting away, barely able to nod in response. The nurse takes her leave and finally, finally, Erwin can sit in the chair by the bed and not think about being composed or brave for his soldiers.

His mind drifts, far, far away and it is some time before a low voice brings him back. Erwin didn’t notice the figure arrive, but he has no room for surprise in his chest.

“Levi,” he says softly, eyes falling back to Ardis. She is breathing more regularly now, and Erwin can feel the pain in his lower back begin to lessen. Like she has told him many times, they are strong, and they will withstand this.

“Your soldiers are commending you already,” Levi says, voice layered with disinterest. “Rumour has it the higher ups are feasting tonight thanks to their newest investment in their scouting legion’s commander.”

Levi sniffs with disdain, and Erwin feels a tiny smile tug at the corner of his lips. They hadn’t seen each other for a while, but Erwin was glad Levi was here now.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, looking Levi dead in the eye. “You didn’t have to come.”

The words leave him feeling heavier than before, but Erwin feels grounded. Ardis is safe, she is healing, and Levi has come. He doesn’t know what exactly that means, but it does mean that Levi hasn’t left him forever.

“I wouldn’t just leave you,” Levi replies, shifting where he stands. Kiva is sitting on the bed, eyes only for Ardis. “You understand why I had to move out.”

It’s not a question for they both know the reason. It’s impractical, and Levi is unorthodox already. To live in with the commander would detract from his training, and Erwin would never sacrifice him in that way.

“I have to get back to training,” Levi says suddenly, and Erwin straightens, nodding. “Your soldiers are waiting for you too, though they’re just happy to be safe that they’ll probably wait all night.” Levi’s lips downturn slightly, and Erwin’s stomach flips. 

Then he turns, and he is gone. It is a few moments before Erwin turns to the bed and meets startling yellow eyes. Kiva turns her nose up at him, but jumps from the bed all the same, coming to rest by Erwin’s feet, just as Ardis would have should she have been able to.

Erwin finds he has no words and sinks back into his seat, covering his face with his hands and smiling. 

_Look how far they’re willing to go for us,_ Erwin murmurs to Ardis. She cannot reply, but Erwin feels warmth through their bond and knows that she knows.

**.**

Technically, Levi has lied. He doesn’t have training to attend – it is late in the evening and almost everyone has skipped over to the food hall to join the scouting legion in their celebrations. Still, he couldn’t stand to be around Erwin any longer. Any longer and Levi would have done something stupid like throw himself at the man, pour himself around him and hold him so tightly to lessen the pain of his injured dæmon.

They’d already discussed it before. It had, in fact, been Kiva’s idea to stay behind, and Levi had agreed. Erwin was being praised in the food hall to toasts of watered down mead, but he was a dæmonless man for the time. He could borrow Kiva and Levi’s strength for a while, that was the least Levi could do.

“Where have you been?” Erd asks when Levi shows up beside him, grimacing at the slop they were serving as booze. True, he’d had worse, but it smelt of piss, and Levi went for water instead. 

“Does it matter?” he answered to Erd, who seemed taken aback for a moment, his dæmon cocking her head in confusion.

“Well no-“ he began, but Levi wasn’t in the mood for small talk. He could feel Kiva’s distance, yet it wasn’t aching as usual. Instead a feeling of content washed over him, and Levi wanted peace to enjoy himself.

“Then it doesn’t matter,” Levi said and sat down at the closest table. The kitchens were still preparing food cheerfully, waiting for the arrival of Commander Erwin Smith before the festivities kicked in.

Listening in, Levi gathered that occasions like this were rare for anyone but the military police. Everyone was just glad to be alive, and Levi felt himself relaxing, looking at the people around and listening as Erd talked to the people around them.

People began to clamour around the door, and Levi looked over in interest, feeling the tug in his chest and knowing who was about to step through the doors.

Sometime after Levi had left, Erwin had straightened himself up and was once more the commanding officer of the scouting legion. He stood tall, shaking hands and clapping people on the back as they let him pass, and looked as if he could weather any storm.

“Levi, is that…?” Erd whispered in his ear, and Levi glare at him from the corner of his eye. 

Of course it wasn’t Erwin’s dæmon by his side. A step apart, Kiva walked with her head and tail high beside Erwin, as if she was his alone. They walked in step, Erwin’s eyes darting to check on his companion from time to time.

Everyone knew by now that Ardis had been injured on their mission, but no one had anticipated a black cat to stand in at Erwin’s side. As Erwin approached the front of the hall, the gathered fell silent, dæmons looking on with the most curiosity at the mismatched pair.

“I want to thank the scouting legion,” Erwin says with a warm voice. Kiva is seated on the floor beside him, staring blankly at something. Levi can feel the emotions running through her, and he clenches a fist, trying not to turn away from what he feels and what he wants.

There isn’t much to Erwin’s small speech. He simply thanks them all and invites them to use this opportunity to relax. Throughout it all, Kiva and Levi are rigid, solely focused on Erwin’s voice and everything about him. Kiva can smell him too, and Levi closes his eyes, trying to imagine the exact aroma that makes up Erwin. It is something indescribable, but something Levi can never forget.

He rounds up his speech, and the kitchens open. Shouts of humans and dæmons alike fill the room and everyone, even Erd, ventures off to grab their food.

Levi doesn’t. He waits, catching the eye of the strange, nose-man Mike and tilts his head, accepting the unspoken invitation.

“I want to say thank you,” Mike says when he reaches Levi. A hand is still buried in his dæmon’s fur, and she snuffles in Levi’s direction, thanking him in her own way.

“I don’t need it,” Levi replies, and Mike nods, face softening.

“All the same though. He wouldn’t have come without your dæmon.” Mike lets the words sink in, taking a seat beside Levi. He is tall, taller than Erwin even, but warm and oddly comforting. He is a man who has lived many years already against titans and one Levi can’t help but hope continues on fighting.

The conversation hits a little too close to home, however, and Levi knows he needs to change it.

“When someone takes a shit, can you smell it?” he asks, eyes focused on Kiva as Erwin moves towards the food area. 

Mike doesn’t say anything, but his dæmon huffs in amusement. Levi raises an eyebrow in return before looking at Mike.

“It’ll be interesting to see you in the field,” Mike comments offhandedly, and Levi frowns. “You’re made from the same stuff as Erwin. You’re both fearless warriors, and I pity anything that stands against you two.”

Burcu yawns, and Mike looks to her. He nods at their silent conversation and clasps Levi’s shoulder, leaving without another word.

His space isn’t empty for long and a plate of food is set down before him, someone swinging their leg over the bench and a dæmon leaping into Levi’s lap. Kiva grins up at him for a second before she’s on the table, attention focused on both Levi and Erwin.

“The nurse let me move Ardis to my rooms,” he says, and Levi reaches for his cutlery, chasing Kiva off as she tries to steal a bite of one of his potatoes.

“She’s doing a lot better thanks to you and Kiva,” Erwin continues, and Levi tries to keep his breathing even as he notices the smile on Erwin’s lips. He wants nothing more than to lean forward and press his own lips against Erwin’s, but he won’t. Kiva twitches and glares at his thoughts, taking a whole potato in protest.

Levi doesn’t reply, instead he shoves a forkful of meat into his mouth and glares at his plate. Erwin nods to himself and brushes against Levi’s shoulder as he leans in slightly, eating his own meal. They remain pressed lightly against each other, silent, throughout the entire meal. Kiva closes her eyes as Levi keeps eating, slowing his pace to make this moment last for as long as he can make it.

People approach and talk to Erwin, all of them dodging the subject of dæmons, but all of them eventually go. At one point, Levi looks up to see Erd watching him with curiosity, but the man simply shakes his head and leaves Levi to it.

“Kiva will be there for as long as you need her,” Levi says suddenly, the words almost sticking in his throat. Erwin turns to him slowly, and he narrows his eyes, focusing ahead rather than at startling blue eyes.

“That’s a heavy burden,” Erwin says so quietly that Levi has to lean into him a little to be sure of the words. They are still touching, and Kiva closes her eyes, turning away slightly to give them some hint of privacy.

“Do you know what this means?” Erwin continues, and Levi does look at him then, tilting his body away and losing the contact they had. Part of him claws to try and get it back, but he’s a stubborn one, and he needs to see Erwin more than feel him anyway.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Levi hisses in response, and Erwin’s lips curl into a smirk. 

Erwin stands, and Levi watches him, shadow covering him entirely. Kiva stands and follows as Erwin smoothly steps over the bench and takes their empty plates away, every single step calculated. They leave without a second glance in Levi’s way, but he hears Erwin speak to Kiva and inhales sharply.

Levi is always welcome in Erwin’s rooms, they are told.

Heart beating wildly in his chest, Levi leaves the food hall, glaring at anyone who dares step in his path. They let him pass with smiles, having added two and two and knowing that the dæmon accompanying their commander was Levi’s. They might not understand the true meaning behind Kiva being with Erwin, but they respect the action all the same.

As Levi walks down the hall, his footsteps echo around him, and he can’t stop the noise of his heart. He is sure that if someone was to walk past him now, they’d hear each and every beat that the muscle in his chest is taking, but Levi doesn’t care.

The door to Erwin’s office is open. He knows this because he watched Erwin move from his office to his rooms through Kiva’s eyes. He heard the suggestion through her ears, and he takes a deep breath. Levi has never backed down from anything before and certainly not against something he really, really wants.

He shuts the door behind him and twists the lock. The sound seems incredibly loud to Levi’s ears, and he knows Erwin knows he’s here. 

The bedroom is as if Levi never left Ardis lies on her side, looking far more comfortable than in the infirmary, and her breathing seems smoother. Kiva is by her side, curled against her with a smug look on her face, but Levi has no time to give a snide reply for there is something more interesting in the room with them.

Erwin is half-dressed, a state Levi has seen him in before, but it is different this time. His shirt is unbuttoned and trousers lie low on his hips, and Levi swallows thickly before he puts his weight on one leg and tilts his head back slightly, lips crawling upwards in faked amusement (in reality his stomach is twirling into impossible knots).

There is a challenge in Erwin’s eyes and Levi will be damned if he backs down now.

**.**


	7. Chapter 7

Erwin’s heart thumps heavily in his chest as Levi looks at him with heavy-lidded eyes. There are no illusions about what will happen if Levi chooses to step into Erwin’s space, and he does it so fluently and so easily that Erwin wonders why it has taken them so long to get to this point.

Levi’s skin is warm as Erwin touches his arm gently. He slowly peels away the layer of clothing Levi has over his skin, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, knuckles brushing hard packed muscle and pale skin.

“What is it about you?” Erwin murmurs, knowing Levi will always hear him, perhaps even if he merely thinks a statement.

Bonds like the one they have growing are bonds for life, a dangerous risk for people in their position. Yet bonds such as the tendrils curling in Erwin’s heart and wrapping around Levi cannot be halted or even persuaded elsewhere. Their relationship is doomed, but if it is doomed then they might as well become the greatest they can be, together.

Four buttons are undone, and Levi shifts, the shirt slipping over his shoulder. Erwin can’t help the heavier breath he exhales and knows from the twitch of Levi’s fingertips against his thigh that he felt the need in that exhale.

The shirt falls to the floor moments later, falling from Levi. He is unveiled as a marble statue is, pale and everything Erwin has ever envisioned and more. Muscle cords his body, taut and the perfect embodiment of a heavenly warrior, yet he is matched to his body type. Levi wouldn’t be out of place in the halls of a museum, but Erwin could never put him on public view. His blood pulses in his ears when he thinks that anyone else has seen Levi like this. It is irrational, for he’s been with other people, plenty, and would expect the same from Levi.

It doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Erwin shows what he wants by leaning towards Levi and kissing him softly. It is barely a touch of lips before he draws back, eyes flickering to meet Levi’s, to make sure this is what he wants. He doesn’t need to check, not really, and cool air hits his broad shoulders as Levi pushes him back a little to slide onto his lap, shuddering as they kiss once more.

Wrapping his arms around Levi, Erwin shifts him so that he is astride Erwin’s thighs. His trousers are stretched, and Erwin eyes Levi’s erection with hunger – but he won’t touch him yet. Let Levi show him he deserves it, let him prove he’s able to keep up with Erwin.

They kiss again, Erwin pressing Levi against him with strong arms, ghosting his tongue against Levi’s lips. Levi lets him in, sinking into Erwin’s hold as if they were meant to be like this forever, and Erwin can’t stop his hands from smoothing against Levi’s skin, from holding him tightly and from running through Levi’s thick hair.

Erwin moves down, letting his tongue glide over a muscular neck. In their position his neck aches as Erwin dips down a little further, but he’s dealt with more pain than this. He fights titans for a career, and anything without a least a little discomfort – not to say that this is an uncomfortable discomfort, if there can be such a thing – would be a pointless affair.

“Don’t tease me,” Levi says, so commanding and direct that Erwin does stop. He meets Levi’s eyes with a cocky grin and brings a hand up from Levi’s waist to press against a pink lip.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to give orders, Levi,” he whispers, voice low with undisguised lust, and Levi swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple exposed for Erwin’s eyes only.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” Levi retorts, unchanged despite their actions. Erwin can’t help but grin and duck his head slightly to seize Levi in a kiss once more, deciding quite simply if he has to pass time one way for the rest of his life, kissing Levi will be his top choice.

As Erwin kisses him, Levi rocks his hips, trousers barely an obstacle in their activities. It’s been a while since Erwin has been with anyone but his hand and even that is a strained affair. It’s not something he likes to admit, but the stress of his job and lack of time often leaves Erwin preferring sleep than battling to wank.

Not with Levi though. Never with Levi. They part their kiss, Levi pushing harder as his hips move across Erwin’s, and Erwin wonders whatever did he do to deserve something as wonderful as this. He doesn’t question it though, not when Levi grunts in annoyance and unbuttons his trousers, glaring for him to do the same.

They don’t bother to get fully naked. This isn’t a love affair where they need to shed themselves before each other fully. They’ve already shared enough of themselves through Levi sending Kiva to Erwin. That is the strength of them, and it is why it is so easy for Erwin to prop himself up on one elbow and take both their cocks in a large hand. Levi’s hand joins him and they move together, a little hesitant at first, but hesitance means nothing when it feels like this.

“Levi,” Erwin breathes, pushing forward to bury his head in the crook of Levi’s neck. He rests his forehead against Levi’s skin and breathes him in, pleasure filling the marrow of his bones as their hands move faster.

Erwin has never felt like this about anyone, never come undone so easily as Levi’s undone him. He’s been with men and women before, but none were ever Levi, and he wonders how he can have thought that sex back then was so good when this? This is so much more.

Erwin comes first with a shudder that passes through his entire body. Levi stills for a moment before he brings a hand to Erwin’s hair, fingers stroking as Erwin rides his orgasm out. Erwin feels the press of Levi’s lips and smiles into them, pushing Levi’s body back a little so that when they break, he can move down.

“What are you-?” Levi starts, but Erwin shushes him with a kiss to his hip bone and then another to the head of his dick. It’s not often Erwin gets to do this, but he likes to think he knows enough to make Levi ecstatic.

Levi’s legs lock around his shoulders as Erwin takes his cock in his mouth. He has no time to play around; he knows Levi is close. This isn’t about teasing or a long, passionate session. They’re both too tired for that, but they can feel good.

Hands grip Erwin’s hair tightly when Levi comes. He groans low in his throat and sinks onto the bed, chest rising and falling heavier than usual. His hands tighten as Erwin swallows his come, and he moves up the bed, to hover over Levi with a wistful smile on his face. He strokes Levi’s cheek and kisses his lips gently, letting Levi’s hands fall to his shoulders as he arranges them by the pillows and under the sheets.

Erwin glances to their daemons, unperturbed by the fact they watched them have sex. He can feel the warmth in Ardis’ chest, and she glances to him in the dark, curling around Kiva a little more. In turn, Erwin wraps an arm around Levi, smiling when Levi stares at him with a frown.

“Kiva might enjoy being cuddled up, but I don’t,” he mutters, though he then buries his head against Erwin’s chest and Erwin can’t help but laugh.

“Thank you for letting Kiva stay,” Erwin says next and jolts as Levi kicks his shin, hard.

“Shut up you idiot,” Levi hisses. “I’m trying to sleep.”

Erwin smiles to himself, letting what doesn’t need to be said rest against their skin. They don’t need words to express how they feel, not when they understand each other and know each other how they do now.

They fall asleep with ease, an unlikely occurrence for people in their line of work.

**.**

With a jolt, Levi wakes in the middle of the night. He feels Kiva still sleeping to the side and glances to Erwin, thankful when he sees there is no change in the pace of his breathing. The giant monster probably didn’t even feel Levi on top of him, let alone feel him wake.

Knowing that Kiva will wake with ease if he wants her to, Levi forces himself to relax against Erwin’s loose embrace, ignoring the images that plague the back of his mind. He’s been dreaming, no one can stop the dreams, and Levi exhales heavily as he recalls the images.

It’s not the first time he’s dreamt of titans. Everyone has dreamt of titans, it’s a simple part of life and Levi’s always been able to deal with it before. He’s never had a proper family so he’s never lost them to dream-titans and being lost himself has never truly bothered him. Even watching Kiva turn to dust before his eyes was more merciful than what plagues him, for daemons cannot be ripped and shredded again and again. Their end lies in dust, but a human’s end?

Erwin’s end?

Levi shudders as the image of a grotesque humanoid figure ripping through Erwin’s flesh haunts him. He knows Erwin well enough now to know that Erwin isn’t reckless, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t above sacrificing himself if he had to. Erwin doesn’t charge in knowing he’ll die, but if it means he’ll win for humanity? Erwin would do anything.

Even cast Levi aside to the titans.

Kiva twitches in her sleep, an action Levi mirrors. He scrunches his eyes shut and curses himself for being such a baby. He is a little child at night though, vulnerable in Erwin’s arms to the tales of titans and destruction.

“I know what you’re thinking,” a voice says in the gloom, and Levi fights the urge to jump out of the bed.

“Don’t worry, Erwin won’t wake. He stayed awake by my side, and unless he can sense danger, he’ll stay dead to the word.” Ardis has somehow unwrapped herself from Kiva and jumps onto the bed to lay beside Levi.

He moves in Erwin’s hold until his back is against Erwin’s side and he is facing Ardis. Now that they are alone in the dark he sees her for what she is, past the magnificent, intimidating Commander’s daemon. Everyone is exposed in the dark, and Levi can see the weariness in her eyes, everything that Erwin keeps hidden. He also sees something warm, something that has his hands reaching out before he can barely stop them.

He stops them an inch away from her nose. Ardis hasn’t moved but Levi jerks his arms back in as if he’s been burnt and apologises into Erwin’s arm, feeling as though he’s betrayed Erwin in the worst way possible. Ardis simply licks her lips and sighs.

“Titans won’t take us,” she promises with a toothy grin. “They won’t take you either.”

There is such confidence in her words, and Levi wants to ask how she knows, why she is promising this much to him, and what exactly she means, but he cannot summon the words into the silence of the room.

Ardis jumps from the bed, claws clicking on the ground as she pads back to Kiva.

“We believe in you,” she says, tucking her body back around his daemon, and Levi feels the warmth in his own chest. As if feeling Ardis, Erwin rolls over to spoon Levi, burying his face in Levi’s hair.

If the world should end that very moment, through titans or no titans, Levi thinks me might just be able to die happily.

**.**

When Erwin wakes, the sun hasn’t yet risen. That in itself isn’t a surprise, but the person at his side is. He spares a glance to Ardis, and she yawns in return, still smugly curled around Kiva. The affection she is showing is almost nauseating, but Erwin feels the same way towards Levi and simply smiles in reply, stretching his legs out a little and basking in the warmth safety he and Levi have made.

Upon meeting Levi and Kiva, Erwin would never have thought they’d end up like this. He’d thought Levi someone free and unobtainable, and so has ignored everything he’s felt for him. He is the commander, after all, and has bigger things to think about than being attracted to someone, but it hasn’t fully hidden what he’s felt.

Now though, he has Levi in his arms. In the back of his mind, Erwin has known Levi would be his. From the moment Kiva remained with him, Erwin knew. Levi may believe he was stellar at hiding his feelings, but daemons expressed so much more, and Erwin had seen everything he’d needed to in Kiva.

Erwin watches Levi carefully, watching his chest rise and fall as the night begins to lighten to day. He stirs momentarily, and Erwin closes his eyes slightly, just in case Levi wakes, but he need not worry. Levi is still fast asleep - though like most soldiers fast asleep isn't particularly heavy sleep - and Erwin can still watch him.

Levi has never struck Erwin as someone who needs anyone. Sexual desires aside, Erwin has suspected that Levi isn't the sort to attach himself to people and had expected Levi to leave as soon as they'd finished. He hadn't though, and was still here, still surrounded by Erwin's bones and skin with Kiva curled into Ardis as if they were all the mattered in the world.

"I know you're watching me," Levi says, voice thick and deep with sleep. He cracks an eye open slightly to fix Erwin with a pointed stare.

"I'd expect nothing less from someone with your past," Erwin replies. He makes no move to get up despite the paperwork he should take to his public office and the appointments he has later. Levi shifts onto his side a little more, hand resting on Erwin's sternum.

"I spoke to Ardis last night," Levi says quietly and the memories rush into Erwin from his daemon.

He smiles softly, a little taken aback when he sees Levi's hands reaching unconsciously for Ardis. He meets Levi's eyes and can see the nervous uncertainty in them. Erwin understands why; touching another's daemon is serious, something parents would never even do to their children. The bond is intimate, an exposure of the soul, and no one in the scouting legion can afford that exposure. Levi knows this, Erwin knows this and yet...

Erwin remains silent. This is not that conversation, and he needs Levi simply to know he is wanted and has not caused some great offence. Erwin doesn't know exactly what he feels knowing Levi reached out, but the feelings are far from negative, and that is why he pushes them aside for the moment.

"Shadis will have my balls if you're late," he comments instead, still making no move to release Levi. Levi kicks his shin gently, toes digging into muscle, but his hand continues to rub circles across Erwin's chest, fingertips gently curling the light coloured hairs.

"Shadis knows I'm one of the few who could miss a day and be better off for it. Some of them are barely out of infancy." Levi makes a distasteful face, scrunching his nose up. Erwin knows Levi has nothing to learn from his classmates in combat sense, and it is true his talents could be used somewhere else rather than having him sit and wait for his classmates.

"Most will end up in the garrison," Erwin says lightly, eyes closing slightly as he relaxes under Levi's touch. It's been a long time, likely the first, since anyone's made him feel safe since he was a babe in his parents' arms.

"Though a large amount seem to think that they will find glory in the military police," Erwin continues, a half-smile pulling at his lips. It's not a pleasant smile, but he can't stop it showing when he thinks of Nile and the fuck up of an organisation he runs.

"They won't find their glory anywhere," Levi says, hand stilling. "There is no glory left in this world."

It is, perhaps a pessimistic view, but it is their reality. Their world will not amount to anything unless they fight, and Erwin is prepared to fight tooth and nail for their freedom.

A dark shape jumps onto the bed, followed by Ardis. She flops across Erwin’s lower half as Kiva stretches by Levi's neck, waiting for Erwin to move his arm. He complies, letting Kiva fill his space as he rolls onto his back, letting Ardis crawl up his chest until her warm breath is against his cheek. She is happy and her tail wags as Erwin strokes her, the pair of them smiling to each other with a look reserved for themselves alone.

“You look younger when you smile,” Levi says softly, Kiva resting in his hair. Her bright eyes peer at them, and she too seems happier.

“It doesn’t happen often,” Erwin admits, and Levi simply nods, reaching a hand to scoop Kiva up and place her on his chest as he mirrors Erwin’s position. They remain that way until Ardis slaps a paw on Erwin’s shoulder, reminding him of their duty, no matter how much they both want to secret away here for the day.

“We have duties to attend,” he says regretfully, and Levi hums to himself, eyes wide.

“I had expected you to be gone by now,” Levi says, and Erwin looks at him. The wall between them is broken, and Erwin wants to know everything Levi has built up in his life. He wants to know what Levi’s favourite item of clothing was as a child, whether he bit his nails, whether he’s seen books of places long forgotten and which one was his favourite. He wants to know everything about Levi, but it’s so much more than that.

He also wants Levi to know everything about him. He wants Levi to know that his favourite bakery is in the heart of Sina, and the elderly owner always gives him an extra loaf for his services. He wants Levi to know that he always knew what form Ardis would settle on when he was younger and that she settled earlier than most. He wants Levi to know that he has never wanted anyone like he wants Levi.

Erwin thinks that might be scarier than every single titan put together and ignores the feeling, taking a lungful of air and pushing Ardis off of him. He smirks to himself as he feels Levi watching him as he moves across the room and throws a look over his shoulder.

“You can stay here for as long as you want.” Erwin leaves the room to fetch something from his desk. There is not an ounce of hesitation in his actions. He has offered Levi his rooms before, so why should he hesitate now? He has nothing to fear from Levi – himself perhaps, but not Levi.

The key is light in his hands, and he passes it to Levi with a firm nod. It’s what he wants, to give Levi somewhere to return to, to let Levi stay by his side. Erwin will never force him (he has to command his soldiers, and Levi will one day be one of them, but he will never force him on these terms), which is why he is giving Levi the choice. A key locks and unlocks, allows escape as well as safety.

Levi, thankfully, doesn’t ask why. He nods and takes the key, curling his fingers around metal as if it is some precious treasure. Erwin turns as his chest warms, making to dress for the day. He doesn’t have time to shower, not when he has appointments in fifteen minutes, but he will enjoy the scent of Levi lingering on his skin all day.

“I hope your training isn’t too strenuous,” Erwin says as he shrugs his jacket on. Ardis is standing by the door, pointedly staring at the wooden door to the hallway to tell Erwin to get a move on. Levi is still in bed, eyes tracking every moment Erwin makes with heat.

“I expect I’ll see you at dinner,” Erwin says and leaves, Ardis at his side and warmth in his chest.

What have we got ourselves in for? Ardis whispers to him, and Erwin shakes his head. She butts her head against his leg, and he stoops to scratch behind her ear, good mood pouring between them.

Nothing changes the good mood, not even the dour face of the council representative who keeps trying to take funds back. He counters arguments and defends others all day. His mood dips slightly when a few recruits need consoling, but he sends them off with lighter hearts in their rib cages and a heavier weight on his own shoulders. These men are dying for him though, and Erwin’s burden is but a pebble in a well for humanity’s cause.

No one comments on how quickly Ardis has recovered. Perhaps they know or at least understand a little.

His mood only drops when he enters the food hall and cannot find Levi or Kiva anywhere. He eats slowly, ignoring conversation around him, looking up only when a book slams down on the table, knocking his glass and spilling a few drops of water onto the table.

“I have a proposition!” Hange announces brightly, and Erwin watches her daemon dart along the floor by her feet to approach Ardis.

“You’ve finally surfaced from your latest experiment,” Erwin says fondly, watching the meerkat tap Ardis gently on the paw. “And hello to you too Asha.”

Asha tilts her head up to peer at Erwin with beady eyes, but her attention draws back to Ardis as the dog lays down and lets Asha crawl onto her back, a favoured position for Hange’s daemon.

“I was reading a book about titans and their historical impact on human society,” Hange begins. The book in question has to be the one she slammed onto the table, and Erwin eyes light with muted interest. It is a thin book, for such an interesting title, and Erwin wonders what interest Hange found in it.

“Titans don’t have daemons,” she starts, but that’s something they all know. “But there is a documented case that states that one titan, way back at the beginning of the war, had a daemon.”

Hange tilts back where she is sitting, excitement almost dripping from her. Erwin spares a glance to Ardis and sees that Asha is fast asleep. Erwin and Mike have a bet running that it is only Asha of the pair that ever sleeps.

“A titan with a daemon?” Erwin comments. Books can’t always be trusted, but if Hange thinks there is something in this historical relic then there’s no harm in letting her pursue what she wants. She’s rooted out important information from stranger sources before and anything they can get against the titans is a major achievement.

“You have my permission for whatever you need,” he allows, and she beams at him, throwing her arms around him in excitement. Erwin stiffens, though he should be used to Hange’s strange outbursts. It isn’t often she will outright throw herself at someone, and Erwin wonders if she’s been trying to research this since before his command and been refused.

Hange leaves Asha with Ardis as she collects her dinner, and Erwin appreciates the company when she returns. Her enthusiasm and rooted questions keep him from wondering where Levi is, after all.

**.**

Kiva stretches out on the bed, pleased with herself, as if her plan had been for Levi to fuck Erwin all along and not just offer someone they respected some support.

“I love this bed,” Kiva says, and Levi flicks her tail away as it gets in his face. Just like his daemon, Levi is lying in Erwin’s bed, metal key resting on his naked chest, rising and falling with his breaths.

“He gave us the key,” Levi states bluntly, and Kiva rolls her eyes.

“I know. It’s all you’ve been thinking about since he left. You do know we’re missing warm up drills right now, by the way. If you don’t want to pull a muscle, you better get dressing.” Kiva’s tone is chiding, but she hardly moves so why should Levi?

“You stink?” she then offers, and Levi pokes her in the side. He might smell, but it’s not entirely unpleasant. Nothing from Erwin could be unpleasant, he’s decided. Well okay, it is a little unpleasant, but he likes Erwin more than he dislikes being a little dirty.

“I’ll get up soon,” Levi promises as he feels Kiva searching for more reasons for Levi to get out of bed. She’s a hypocrite, really, and Levi pokes her again for good measure.

His attention turns back to the key. It means more than just forged metal and a device to open a door. Erwin has already offered his rooms to Levi once before, but never a key. Before Levi would have needed Erwin to do anything and yet now? Now Levi can come and go as he pleases.

Erwin isn’t restricting him.

It is perhaps the most honest relationship he’s ever had, aside from his bond with Kiva. Erwin isn’t pushing or even commenting on what they have. Instead he is leaving Levi with the choices, letting Levi know he cares, but not smothering him. Erwin understands that Levi needs his freedom, and Levi can’t help the small smile that crosses his lips when he thinks of Erwin and grabs Kiva, burying his face into her fur.

“I’m too old for this shit,” he mumbles as Kiva’s paws knead his scalp. “I’m not even going to think about what I feel for that giant.”

Kiva purrs as Levi strokes her fur, kneading slowing ever so slightly.

“I like Ardis,” she offers, unhelpfully. “And I like Erwin. Did you know he gave me food yesterday.”

Levi does know that Erwin offered Kiva some small scraps from plates the nurses had brought to him. He’d declined them, unable to eat, but had offered food all the same to Kiva. Daemons don’t need to eat – they can, but they get their sustenance from their humans – and Levi can’t think of a reason why Erwin would offer Kiva food.

“He likes me,” Kiva says proudly, arrogantly. Levi feels himself agree as she is him after all, but rejects the thought almost immediately afterwards. Kiva is the one who gets to be arrogant and brag about whatever she wants. Levi just glares at the people who question him and ignores the rest of the idiots the world brings his way.

They can’t stay in Erwin’s rooms forever, and Levi eventually, reluctantly, peels himself away from Erwin’s sheets. He finds a thin cord – probably material from old clothing that has somehow ended up forgotten and left behind – at the back of one of Erwin’s drawers (of course he’s going to go through Erwin’s drawers, why wouldn’t he?) and strings the key onto the cord, tying it loosely round his neck. It hangs low between his ribcage and is completely hidden by the time Levi is fully clothed. No one will ever know the secret Levi hangs around his neck.

His choice is not a noose or a sharpened knife, but a key. The scouting legion will lead to his death – one day, someday, even if the titans are eradicated by that time – and he has chosen they key without regret. Levi has his burden, his hope, and he leaves Erwin’s room, slipping the key out to lock the door behind him.

The training grounds are full, and Levi slips into formation, glancing at Shadis as he does so. Shadis narrows his eyes, but doesn’t comment, continuing to run through drills. Levi wants to curse; it was just his luck that Shadis would be overseeing training today.

As he suspects, Shadis doesn’t take long to split groups up and bee-line to Levi, staring him down.

“You’re expected to attend training sessions with the other recruits, whether it’s beneath you or not.” Shadis’ eyes are sullen, and Levi knows he is a man who has seen a lot of things, a man who gave up a position on the front line to send others in his place.

“Sir,” Levi replies, tone level and eyes meeting his superior. It’s not a sign of disrespect. Where Levi comes from, he has always needed to show that he is still a challenge. It is the same here, and Shadis nods.

“Do it again, and I will throw you over the wall myself,” he says, and Levi doesn’t doubt he means it. Shadis has been lenient, and Levi knows someone other than himself would have been humiliated and punished before the entire training squad. It is because of Levi’s past that Shadis lets him slide this once, and Levi wonders what Shadis did before he was in the military; it isn’t unheard of for people to join from less savoury lives.

Levi puts his all into training though. Disappointment is a brand of shame he does not want to bear, and he even puts more effort into single combat skills. Shadis leaves the training field with satisfied nod in his direction as Levi is fitting his gear, and Levi knows that he has satisfied the man.

“You didn’t come back last night,” someone says, and Levi turns to look at Erd. Since Levi moved up, his 3D manoeuvre gear lessons have included his roommates. The others don’t tend to bother – they already know that Levi has his heart set on the scouting legion and don’t want to mess with someone that fucked up – but Erd is different, and Levi still cannot figure out why he bothers.

“I was with a friend,” Levi replies, and Kiva jumps onto his shoulders. He doesn’t understand the sudden interest Erd has in him and decides to do what he does best.

“Have you got some weird fascination, like you get off on watching me sleep or something?” he says. and Erd looks taken aback for a moment. He waves his hands frantically, shaking his head.

“No. Really, no. I have a girlfriend back in my hometown.” Erd laughs, and his daemon ruffles her wings. She is on the ground, looking bored by the entire encounter. “I’m just curious about you.” His mouth twists unhappily.

 

“I feel that there’s more to you that what you show on the training grounds and that you’re going to be one to watch.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m going to be quiet now because I’m starting to sound like a creep, but it’s nothing like that.”

His daemon nips at his leg, and Erd does shut up. Levi tilts his head and inspects Erd. He hasn’t thought much of the man before, but now he knows why he is interested, and Erd has been honest… Erd could be one to look out for himself.

“What division are you going to join?” Levi asks, wondering whether his attention should be focused on this man more than his other peers.

Erd doesn’t answer. He shrugs and his shoulders drop a little.

“Probably the military police,” he admits, and Levi nods curtly. It’ll be a shame to lose a potentially skilled fighter to the corrupt pigs, but Levi never joined to persuade people for a cause. “Are you really entering the scouting legion?”

Levi turns slightly. Training will begin soon, and Levi knows his form is slightly unbalanced and wants to correct it as soon as he can. He looks over his shoulder, vision partially blocked by black fur, and walks off without an answer. Erd has to know that Levi wouldn’t be here if he didn’t intend to join the scouting legion. He’s been on the gossip mill since he got here, and Levi won’t justify a stupid question with a response.

With a bit of training, he’ll be good, Kiva says, and Levi hums, distracted by the thought of correcting his balance. Possible distractions aside, Levi takes his work extremely seriously and has to perfect it. If he doesn’t then what is the point of him even being here?

Most of the trainees filter away towards the start of the evening, but Levi can’t get comfortable in his grip when he changes blades. He tries again, the blade in an unconventional hold, and moves to change the practice blades as he fires the gear across the training ground. The blade clicks into place, but in a real situation the titan would easily have devoured him by now.

“We’ve missed dinner,” Kiva says miserably. She’s been complaining for hours now, and Levi finally takes in his surroundings and admits they should call it quits. Visibility has dropped dramatically and stars are beginning to twinkle. Dinner service will be over now, but they can at least grab a drink before they head to bed.

Levi plans to sleep in his own bed tonight. He Is frustrated at his own mistake and hungry, but he thinks he might be able to wrestle a carrot or something from the kitchen if he’s lucky, to go with his water.

“But what’s really amazing is that reports never mentioned the daemon fading to dust!” an enthusiastic voice is saying as Levi enters the hall. It belongs to a scruffy woman – Hange Zoe if Levi can remember correctly – and she ignores the few people left to talk loudly to her partner.

“And there haven’t been proper reports like it since. The possibilities are endless and-“ she pauses when she notices that she doesn’t have her partner’s attention fully anymore and turns with a feline grin to Levi.

Levi is at the end of the table, trying not to react openly to seeing Erwin and also feeling a little disturbed at the woman creeping her way along the table with her hand outstretched.

“Levi isn’t it?” she says, continuing on before he has a chance to reply. “It’s so good to finally meet you properly, Erwin and Mike have told me all about you.”

Levi nods slowly, Kiva purring at the thought that Erwin spoke about them to others. Her eyes alight on Ardis, and Levi feels a jolt of surprise and follows her gaze, to the meerkat burrowed in Ardis’ fur.

“Asha!” Hange says, dragging Levi with her as she returns to Erwin and an open book. “Be polite and meet Levi!”

Her daemon does as told, blinking sleepily as it slips from Ardis’ fur. The meerkat wanders slowly to Kiva’s side, peering at her before tapping her shoulder with a paw. It seems that Hange’s daemon is just as unconventional as she is.

Hange wastes no time in returning to whatever she’d been speaking about, and Levi prepares to go fetch his water and head to bed, but is stopped by a warm hand. Erwin pulls him to his left hand side, helping Levi to settle on the bench, and keeps a hold of his hand under the table as Hange continues on, absorbed by the book and the fact she has someone to dictate to.

Levi’s hunger abates with the leftover pie and mash Erwin slides his way and the thumb that strokes the back of his hand. He feels warm and satisfied, even without Kiva’s happiness of a daemon pile up, squashed between Ardis and Asha in a comfortable bundle.

He thinks that perhaps this is what they were always meant to be. The two of them together to front the rest of the scouting legion, the strength for each other that was missing from inside.

Perhaps Levi is getting ahead of himself, but what he has with Erwin feels so special and so something that he really feels Erwin will be the end of him, in many years when their hands shake with age and not fear. When their skin will be patched with age and sunlight, not worried lines and when their bellies will be forever full and their hearts forever content.

Of course he really is getting ahead of his daydreams, but he can’t pretend that’s not how Erwin makes him feel.

  
Levi can only hope Erwin feels the same.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i er may have forgotten i have more chapters to upload... i am so sorry! in general the plan is to have this finished before next april, so fingers crossed! thank you so much if you're still sticking with this, i appreciate the support a lot <3

Seasons barely matter to Erwin anymore, but from the way Ardis paces before his desk, he knows autumn is giving way to winter. She is restless, as is he, and he flicks through some papers before giving up, the words not even registering further than blurred shapes before him.

“Why haven’t they given us an expedition yet,” Ardis mumbles to herself, yawning in agitation. Her nails click on the floor as Erwin drums his fingers, staring at his door. They have been free of appointments for hours now, but still have to remain confined to this office, just in case.

“Because expeditions mean money,” Erwin says with a sigh, dropping the papers back onto his desk and leaning back in his chair. He allows his head to tip back and he stares at the ceiling for a while, not bothering to move when a knock sounds at his door. Ardis can smell who is outside, and he calls for them to enter.

“You seem bored,” Mike says with a smile, and Erwin finally takes his eyes from the ceiling. Burcu squeezes through the door with a long-suffering sigh, and Ardis stands to greet her.

“Bored is an understatement,” Erwin replies, nodding for Mike to take a seat. He is grateful for the company in truth and wonders if Mike is able to place his scent now and plucked out the boredom.

“I still can’t smell you,” Mike says, and Erwin raises an eyebrow. “You wrinkled your nose and you only do that when you think about my smelling abilities. I’m clever enough to jump to conclusions.”

They sit in silence for a while. Burcu and Ardis play a little, bear pulling dog as Ardis butts her head gently against Burcu’s jaw. Their play is gentle, but important. Erwin has always been an advocate for daemons playing together, like wild animals may, though few people are happy enough to let their daemons interact on such a level. Most of the scouting legion accept his teachings, and Erwin knows it’s helped out in a few difficult situations before from scouts thanking him when they come back alive.

“Have you ever thought about how you might die?” Erwin says softly, ignoring Ardis’ huff of surprise and Burcu’s grunt. No one ever really entertains the thought of death, but Erwin thinks it’s important to humble one’s self.

“Cheerful today,” Erwin hears Burcu mutter, a rare sound, and he smiles at her.

“Well I’d like to die an old man in bed with family surrounding me,” Mike says with a charming grin. He sobers the next moment though, and Erwin watches him as carefully, eyes sharp as cut glass.

“A bigger part of me knows I won’t survive this war.” He nods to himself a few times, not meeting Erwin’s eyes. This in itself isn’t strange. No one meets Erwin’s eyes when he asks them how they think they will die. No one wants to see the truth Erwin won’t keep hidden, and no one wants to see their own reflection in his eyes.

“And you, Commander?” His title is used ironically, and Erwin smirks.

“Who knows,” he says, brushing the question off like water droplets from a duck’s back. Erwin may die in so many ways, and he thinks about it often yet not at all. 

He thinks he’ll more likely be shot down by the king than eaten by a titan for the plans he has in his heart. Erwin is a risk taker, and he’ll take titans over the military police any day. At least titans are smart enough not to panic and aren’t armed with guns. Nile is a twitchy man, like the rest of his organisation, and Erwin’s found himself at the end of a gun one too many times before. It’s a habit, he supposes, one he should really learn to kick.

But then again, pissing Nile off is fun. And Erwin’s smart enough to dodge any bullets that comes his way. (He ignores the eye-roll Ardis sends him at this).

“I want you to put together a team,” Erwin says. He’s been thinking over this plan for a while and knows he’ll have a certain someone’s support, if not full adoration.

“Is there to be an expedition?” Burcu looks up in interest, closing her maw and letting Ardis push her away.

“Of sorts. I won’t say anymore because I’ll be omitting a few things from my request form, but put together a team that are fast and can think strategically. They don’t need to have a high kill rate… in fact it’s probably better if they don’t.” Erwin nods. and Mike takes the information in as he always does. He sighs and inhales deeply, nodding when he’s processed what he needs.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” he says, and Erwin gives him two names of the ones who will be overseeing the operation to come.

“Very well then,” Mike says. “I look forward to hearing when the expedition will mount. I’m assuming we’ll be changing bases before then though?”

The scouting legion always made a point of being round trainees while they could. Not many people want to join the scouting legion on base of stories they’ve heard and a commander in the past decided to make their presence known around recruits. A slight increase in new recruits arose since then and Erwin’s not one to break tradition.

Still, they never make a habit of staying in one place too long. To settle down would be to get comfortable and fighting titans isn’t a comfortable job. Erwin needs his men and women on their feet at all times, and he nods to Mike’s question, ignoring the slight jab in his chest. He will never let slight jabs get in the way of being commander.

“We have an old farm in the outer district of Maria. It’s close to our exit point and has the facilities we’ll be needing.” Erwin smiles grimly, though it doesn’t reach to the corners of his eyes.

Mike is smart enough not to question, and he relaxes in his chair. Business is done, and their daemons return to their games of play-mauling each other. 

“I heard Hange switched experiments a few days ago,” Mike says, and Erwin raises an eyebrow. “Did you manage to see her in the brief period of lucidity she had?”

“I did,” Erwin replies, and Mike lets out a surprised bark of laughter. “I may have set her on the path for this experiment.”

There is no surprise anymore, and Mike sighs fondly. “Well, next time she’s out of the cave, tell her I think I’ve found her a new assistant. I don’t think she’ll last long – she’s not looking to spend her life in the labs – but she has more interest in learning about titans than any other recruits I’ve known. I think she has a brother who’s expressed interest in training too.”

Erwin nods, filing the information away. Hange will be glad to have a new assistant, and Asha will get to relax a little knowing someone else is helping to take care of Hange. Hange is important, anyway. Her brain contains more information on titans than any textbook could hope to hold.

“When I get permission, we’ll be gone. I give it another month at most.” Erwin feels his mood dip and knows Ardis shares it from the way she snaps a little too violently at Burcu. She instantly apologises, dipping her tail slightly, and they move on.

“I shall make sure to start the rumours up. It’ll do them all good to get on their feet again.” Mike stands, and Burcu lets her paws fall to her side, standing and bidding Ardis a silent farewell.

“I expect I’ll see you around dinner,” Mike says, and Erwin waves him off, looking at Ardis when the door closes.

“Do you really think it’ll be possible to catch a titan?” she asks, and Erwin nods slowly.

“It’s been attempted before, but those teams never had Hange on their side. This will be her first proper mission, and she’s probably the most important person on this mission.” Ardis pads to his side and lays her head on his lap, saliva coating Erwin’s leg. He gently lifts her muzzle and smiles, letting her jump awkwardly onto his lap.

“You’ll stay at the base,” Erwin says quietly into her fur, remembering their previous mission and shuddering at the thought of that happening again. Which reminds him, he needs to find a new horse and get the horse used to him. He hates losing horses.

“I can’t even follow Levi and Kiva around,” Ardis mumbles, peering up at Erwin with round eyes. He pats her gently on the nose and stretches his legs out a little, wrapping his arms around her as he does so to keep her on his lap.

“No, but you can keep the other daemons in check. And stop Asha from losing her mind when Hange finally gets to capture the titan she’s always wanted.” Ardis laughs at that and licks Erwin’s cheek, hopping from his lap.

“We have a few more hours before dinner. Get to work,” she says sternly and Erwin mock-salutes her, pulling a mission request form from his desk. He’s been holding off subconsciously, but now he’s told Mike there will be a mission, he has no reason not to complete the paperwork.

He doesn’t think of Levi when he inks the required words. Well, perhaps just a tiny bit.

*

“Well,” Shadis says slowly. “What do you think?”

Kiva’s tail is twitching nervously, but Levi simply crosses his arms and shrugs his shoulders.

“It’s your recommendation,” he says, because in truth he has no idea what to say. What Shadis has suggested is almost absurd.

“It’s my recommendation, and I’ve even had a word with Commander Pixis. It’s not often one gets to see him, but his judgement is spot on, most of the time. Still, you need to agree to it. It’s a rare opportunity, though not the first time it’s been done, and I wouldn’t suggest it unless I felt you could cope.” Shadis sets his hands on his desk, disturbing stare set right at Levi.

“And did you,” he begins, “ask anyone else their opinion?”

Of course Shadis gets what he means, and he sits back in his chair with a wry grin. It isn’t unfriendly, and Levi frowns.

“I did not ask Commander Smith, no. I hear he’s just filed a mission request though, so they’ll be moving on soon, and I doubt you’ll see him again until you graduate.” Shadis’ grin has definitely spread, and Levi’s eyes narrow. 

“So what, you’re setting me up with a hot date sooner than scheduled?” After all, Levi was never one to beat about the bush. Whatever his relationship is with Erwin, he has no need to hide it from Shadis or anyone else who prods at him. So what if he’s fucking the commander? No one can doubt his skill.

“Not at all Levi,” Shadis says warmly. “Whatever relationship is between you and Smith has nothing to do with anyone. You two are too professional to let it get in your way, and I wager that when you join the scouting legion, no one other than those in the know now will ever see your true feelings for each other.”

Marley croons from behind Shadis, and he give a rough laugh, a sound that is so unheard of and unused that Levi feel the discomfort spread around the room from their daemons.

“Oh, to be young. You make the most of what you can get, both of you. You two were born to survive, and I’d not be surprised to see the two of you standing over the last stinking titan corpse.” Shadis snorts the rest of his laughter out like an elderly man. “Hopefully it’ll be with these eyes,” he taps his head, “and not eyes from the after world.”

Levi inclines his head, still on edge with the entire conversation. He suspects that Shadis saw Pixis earlier that very day and that they consumed a fair amount of alcohol. It’s the only explanation for Shadis’ talkative nature of the moment and his proposition.

“What I proposed was that you graduate with this year’s trainees. You’re skilled enough to do it, and don’t need to take the physical training classes or the classes on psychology and strategy. You’re a street kid, it’s basically in blood to know that.” Shadis leans forward again, nodding slowly.

“I want to know if you agree. Sometimes people are in your position, though I’ve not personally been involved in their training. You have to want to do it though. If you speed through and find out at the end you can’t take it? You don’t get a second chance. No one does. They just have more time to think.” Shadis’ stare is focused only on Levi, and Levi meets his gaze without fear. He made his decision months ago. Years even.

“I’ll do it,” Levi says flatly, and Shadis nods, eyes narrowing in affirmation. Shadis knew Levi would say yes all along. It is an undeniable fact, and Levi leaves a few minutes later unsure how he’ll be able to tell Erwin.

In the end, he doesn’t have to. Kiva is playing with his toes as Levi tries to get warm in Erwin’s bed when the man walks in. Ardis jumps to join Kiva immediately, but Erwin gives him a strange look, and Levi knows he knows.

“Shadis told me you’ll be graduating even earlier,” he says, voice a little lost, as if Erwin is walking through a wood and cannot find his way out. Levi isn’t sure what that means, but he kicks Kiva off his leg (she lands on top of Ardis, happier to have been kicked off than annoyed) and stands to greet Erwin properly.

“He asked me today,” Levi says, unsure where they stand. He can’t read Erwin at the best of times, and now Erwin is as fathomless as the world beyond the walls.

And, as usual, Erwin doesn’t do anything Levi expects of him. He pushes Levi back onto the bed until he is sitting and kneels before him. Levi is the one who has to lean down this time, and he kisses Erwin, letting the anxiety he’s been feeling and the unsteadiness flow between them. He feels Erwin’s hands on his back and tangles his own in Erwin’s hair, breathing deeply when they part lips.

“We’ll be moving out in about a month,” Erwin says, and if he was any other man, Levi would think he was ignoring Levi’s issue. But he isn’t. This is Erwin, and Erwin never ignores Levi. “Keys aren’t permanent, but I’ll send you one for every room I have.” 

Erwin kisses him again, and Levi wonders if this is what the birds feel when they fall from such heights, only to spread their wings and soar. Perhaps he has been chasing the wrong freedom this entire time, and this, Erwin between his thighs and against his lips, is the only freedom he’ll ever need.

(Oh, but how he’ll fight for Erwin and their humanity regardless of what form his freedom takes. Levi isn’t so love struck he doesn’t want to be rid of the walls, they just have a smaller meaning in his life now. Erwin will never be his everything, but he will always be his something.)

“And then when you graduate – which isn’t a surprise, you needed only to learn the technical side of the manoeuvre gear – you can get your key when I get mine.” Erwin’s smile is as giant as every other part of him is, and Levi can feel heat creeping into his cheeks. There is no stopping this man, and Levi shoves his hands against Erwin’s cheeks, making a point to frown like an old man.

“Levi,” Erwin says after some pushing and shoving. Something in his tone makes Levi stop and even Kiva tunes in to pay attention. “I’m proud of you.”,

Kiva springs into action, jumping onto Ardis as if her life depended on it. She mewls happily, and Ardis rolls over, batting at Kiva gently until she rests against her neck. They lay there as pathetically as Levi feels, and he simply takes to staring at Erwin in what he imagines is some stupid forlorn look. Perhaps he’ll even start sighing like those maidens in fairy tales if Erwin keeps this up.

“Shut up,” he says instead and kicks Erwin back until he lands on the ground on his arse. He makes a dull thud, and Levi stares at him, pleased. No one should be allowed to get away with what Erwin Smith gets away with.

Instead of backing down, Erwin descends on him with bear arms and butterfly kisses to the back of his neck. It’s not hard to give in, and Levi pulls him under the covers, their daemons slinking off to curl in their own bed. The spoilt brats. 

“Are you becoming soft or something? Those high ups been keeping you on your toes so much the last of your sanity’s fled out the window.” Levi doesn’t make any attempt to move from Erwin’s clutches and arranges the covers around them. He’s too tired for anything sexual (they’ll get to that in the morning, before the sun rises, and they have to go their separate ways) and knows Erwin is even more exhausted than he is. Still, they don’t always need sex. Well, they do, but the body and the mind are two things and sometimes Levi wants to just be held instead. 

Especially when there’s the promise of sex later on.

“Not soft,” Erwin mumbled into his ear. He’s already taken his shirt off and somehow his trousers are gone. Levi thinks maybe Erwin is a little bit magical, but Kiva tells him Erwin was half-undressed by the time he’d walked through his office. Not a moment of time wasted.

“What do you call it then?” Levi asks, feeling sleep overtaking him already. He’s exhausted from thinking about Shadis and his offer and how he’ll be in the scouting legion in mere months. 

“I’d call it…” Erwin says slowly and stops. For a moment, Levi thinks he’s fallen asleep until Erwin shifts and kisses the back of his head. “I’d call it me looking forward to you being by my side.”

Later, Kiva grins as Levi starts a tradition. With permission, he takes a horse from the stables and rides to the key cutter in the nearest town. He gets a replica of Erwin’s key and tucks it onto a piece of leather cord he bought some time ago. Now he has a key to keep and a place for the other keys he’ll receive, the only piece of sentimentality of their relationship he will ever keep so long as the titans are alive. 

“He’ll find out eventually,” Kiva says as she curls by his neck. Erwin is busy in meetings for the upcoming mission, and Levi doesn’t mind giving him the space. “Imagine his face.” She chuckles, and they still as one of their roommates shifts in their sleep.

“Imagine the sex afterwards,” Levi mutters, rolling over and tucking Kiva against his chest. 

They don’t really need keys or proof of their relationship, but Levi feels a warmth in his chest when he sees the key on the leather strap and when he thinks of the keys to join. It’ll be his little secret, a solid, material reason to go on. Sometimes mental goals are not enough, and they can break as easily as a butterfly’s wing. Metal is cold and hard, but it does not break easily. If Levi ever needs a solid reason to go on and cannot find it in his own mind then he has these keys, this little private piece of himself and Erwin. 

*

They don’t get many days off. No one does, but Erwin knows the days they do and sends Ardis to collect Levi and Kiva. It’s a Sunday, and the dawn has barely broken. It’s been three days since they stayed together, and Erwin closes his eyes at his desk, almost humming as he watches through the bond. Ardis mirrors his happiness, sneaks into Levi’s barracks with ease and shoves her nose right into Kiva’s side. 

Kiva jumps up, silent from years in the Underground, but softens when she sees Ardis. Erwin can hear them talk and he pulls back, nodding to himself as he knows Levi will join him soon.

Levi arrives with a daemon on each side, features set in stone and uniform immaculate. Without a word, Erwin takes Levi’s jacket from his shoulders and produces another, one he’d worn once when he was a little younger. It’s a little fancy, but it suits Levi well, if a tad large.

“What is this?” Levi says, a small frown on his brow as his hands sneak from the sleeves to grip the dark fabric. Kiva peers up at Erwin in curiosity, and Ardis sits down heavily at his feet, closing her eyes.

“We’re going into town today,” Erwin says simply, as if that explains everything. It should, he thinks, because he doesn’t feel like being harassed. They’ll still keep the basics of their uniforms, as good soldiers do, but no one needs to know which branch they belong to.

“So I need a mountain of cloth in jacket form?” Levi sniffs, though Erwin can tell he isn’t really insulted by all this. 

“Yes,” he replies, shooting Levi a quick smile. “I’m going to get mine,” he grabs a dark brown jacket, less formal and thicker than what Levi has, “and now we can go.”

Erwin never once feared Levi would deny him, and he is proved right when Levi simply shrugs and pulls the jacket around himself a little tighter. He straightens, and Kiva hops onto his neck before he looks to Erwin.

“You do know trainees don’t get paid,” Levi says simply, and Erwin nods. 

“We won’t be doing anything expensive anyway. I have enough money for us.” They move out of the room, and Erwin locks the room behind them. They make small talk – not uncomfortable, just filling the gaps three days left them – as they walk through the training base, and Erwin finds that Levi’s been pushing himself harder ever since his graduation was pushed forward.

The town in question isn’t far, but Erwin has hired out a coach. The driver nods to them, his daemon peering curiously at them, grunting happily as they clamber in. It’s a strange sight to see a pig beside a coach driver, but Erwin swears by this man. He is the most discreet driver Erwin knows and doesn’t mind calling himself Erwin’s man.

Not that they need to be discreet today, but a man needs money to put food in his belly.

“I met that disgusting woman in the lunch hall yesterday,” Levi says as the coach begins to move. Ardis and Kiva have claimed a side of the carriage for their own, and Erwin sits pressed against Levi, content with the contact they have.

“Disgusting woman?” Erwin asks, looking out of the window. The streets pass and people peer at them for a second before returning to their work. No one really cares, but a carriage is a moment of interest in a tough life.

“The science one. Who hardly washes and has stains on her clothes.” Erwin looks over in time to catch Levi’s lips thinning and shakes his head in amusement. He should have known Levi would have issues with Hange.

“She has a meerkat that doesn’t understand personal space for a daemon.” Levi is still speaking, and Erwin lets him. He’s not focused on anything inside the coach, lost instead in his disgust for Hange. He doesn’t truly dislike her – it’s impossible not to like Hange – but Levi hates things that are dirty, things he can’t clean with his own hands.

“Asha sat on Kiva for twenty minutes, uninvited.” Levi crosses his arms, finally looking up at Erwin. “It’s not funny, you giant dick,” he says, kicking Erwin in the leg as Erwin turns away to the window, covering his smile with his hand.

“Hange’s enthusiastic. She’ll be getting an assistant soon though, to help remind her to eat, sleep and bathe.” Erwin sinks a little more to his left, resting against Levi. In turn, Levi unfolds his arms, resting the back of his right hand against Erwin’s thigh, relaxed in his presence.

“It shouldn’t be that hard to remember those things,” Levi mutters, but there’s nothing to his words. Erwin feels him follow his gaze outside, and they comment on a few things, silence blanketing them as they continued on.

The town Erwin calls for the coach to stop at is a popular market town. It is known for its pastries, and that is where Erwin drags Levi to first. Their daemons follow in silence, butting against each other occasionally and turning in unison to other daemons whose eyes linger a little too long for their liking. They are an unstoppable force, Erwin thinks, and his chest warms as the tendril of a thought turns to Levi and himself.

“Commander Smith!” a voice calls out as they enter the bakery. A woman wipes her hands on her apron and moves around the side of the counter to throw her arms around Erwin. Levi stiffens at his side as Erwin returns the embrace, smiling. 

“It’s good to see you Mabel. I’ve brought my friend Levi to try your famous pastries.” Levi, with pink cheeks due to the warmth of the shop, looks at him for a moment before nodding to Mabel.

“And Ardis! It’s good to see you too.” She smiles at Ardis and then turns to look at Kiva, eyes darting to Levi, hands on her hips. 

“Erwin!” she barks and Erwin knows what’s coming. Levi coils like a spring, but Erwin bumps shoulders slightly, letting him know Mabel means no harm. “Your friend and his daemon are nothing but skin and bone. Doesn’t your organisation treat its soldiers with respect?”

She turns, apron whirling around her, and shakes her head angrily.

“Go take a table in the back. The kids are out, and my husband’s at the market, so you won’t be disturbed. You’re not to leave until you’ve eaten every last crumb, do you understand?” Erwin nods and sees Levi do the same, eyes wide and back straight. Kiva’s tail is twitching uncertainly, and Erwin leads them into the back room. It’s one of the preparation rooms and is comfortably warm. The scent of dough and pastry fillings fills Erwin’s mind, and he takes Levi over to the table.

A huge dog is sitting by the open fire, and Ardis pads over to greet him. He is a wolfhound and groans as he stands, greeting Ardis with as much happiness as his human.

“This is Mabel’s daemon, Carwyn. Their family took me in when I was younger and got lost.” Erwin rests an elbow on the table, watching Levi take his seat opposite. Kiva has gone to join the dogs with a determined look, and Erwin knows it won’t be long before the three of them are resting against each other. That’s always the way it is when people are forced to live harsh lives; daemons take what comfort they can when their humans cannot.

“You?” Levi snorts, “lost?”

Erwin inclines his head dramatically. “I’m afraid so. Has my majestic image been tarnished now you know the truth?”

Levi kicks him under the table as Mabel return with two large pies and a selection of pastries. She sets them down, cutlery too, and stares at Erwin.

“It’s true. He got lost, goodness knows how, and ended up on our steps in the middle of the night. Carwyn could hear Ardis, everyone else was fast asleep, so we took the little troublemaker in.” She pats Erwin’s arm fondly. “Would you be a dear and go down into the cellar and fetch some apple juice?”

Erwin does as instructed and returns with a large barrel on his shoulder. He doesn’t miss the close conversation Mabel and Levi seemed to have had while he was gone and looks to Ardis in curiosity. She ignores him and goes back to letting Kiva groom the top of her head. Spoilt daemons, the lot of them.

“Thank you dear,” Mabel says, shooting a pointed look to Levi before she hands over two glasses and lets Erwin deal with pouring out the juice. She returns to the shop front humming to herself merrily.

“I used to sneak back here whenever I could. Still do really,” Erwin says with a smile, taking a sip of the juice. It’s aged a little and there is a slight kick to it, but it is delicious. 

“I understand,” Levi says softly, taking a delicate bits of his hot pie. “With food like this.”

Erwin smiles. The food is delicious, and he’d always wanted a busy household when he was younger. His own home had been quiet, and Erwin has always craved some sort of adventure. He was always destined for a life in the scouting legion, he thinks, and while he might not have many ties to the world he lives in, he’ll always stop by to see Mabel and her family, more because it makes her happier than himself.

They finish up the pies in silence, listening to the fire crackle and Carwyn snore. At one point Kiva abandons the dogs to sniff at a pastry, and Erwin breaks one in half, letting her carry both back to the fireside. Ardis wastes no time in chomping it down, but Kiva savours it, licking at the jam filling and the flakes of pastry.

“Have you really never brought anyone here before?” Levi asks when they’re licking sugar dust from their fingers. His voice is quiet, as if he isn’t expecting an answer, and Erwin pauses, index finger against his tongue.

He slides his finger out and shrugs. 

“You’re the only person who knows,” he confirms and tries to calm his heart from the intensity in Levi’s gaze. “You’re the only person who deserves to know.”

That’s all there is to it, really. Levi is the only person who Erwin will tell everything, expose everything and do so happily. It’s almost unexplainable, but calling it such diminishes what he does feel. If they were in another time, when titans were but a ghost story to tell to unruly children, Erwin would whisk Levi off and marry him, tie him down with invisible bonds and be tied in turn, until they are so tied to each other that separating them feels as painful as a daemon bond stretched too thin.

But they are not in another time or place. Titans rule outside the walls, and it is simply a matter of time before… well. Erwin has considered options and while he hopes they are ridiculous thoughts, nothing is ever certain. They have hardly enough information about titans, and there is so much in the world they don’t know.

Erwin can’t ride off with Levi in his arms. Not that Levi would ever let him, no matter what world they were in. He can, however, let Levi into his life, into his world. Erwin has never wanted for anything or anyone, and if Levi didn’t want to be by his side then he would let him go without fuss. But he does want Levi, more than anyone can ever know. They have no time to go through hundreds of partners in their positions, and Erwin suspects Levi is of the same mentality. They are in this until the end, two survivors who will bring the titans to their knees together.

The exact technicalities are a little fuzzy, even to Erwin, but he knows he will not complete his mission, his life, without Levi. 

“Don’t expect me to take you to where I used to get a lot of meals from,” Levi says. He licks jam from the corner of his lips and smirks. “The sewers aren’t a nice place.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow, uncaring if Levi stalked rats in the dark or saved money up to buy the best cuts of meat in Sina. 

“I liked that tavern we met in,” he comments, smiling as he takes a sip of his juice, wishing for the distinctive taste of the beer in that one tavern. 

“Are you damaged in the head? One too many titans took a swing at you, and you crashed into too many trees?” Levi shakes his head. “You’re just saying shit now.”

Erwin made a sound in the back of his throat and swallowed the last of his drink.

“Not so,” he said in protest. “I’ve been to a few establishments, and the beer really is the best there.” 

There is a sound from the mound of daemons, and Kiva’s head peers over Ardis’ back with a triumphant look in her eyes. Levi rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his drink instead, pushing Kiva back with his foot when she trots over.

“I told you he liked the beer,” she says, jumping onto Erwin’s side of the table. She sits by his right arm, looking smugly at Levi all the while. “I told him, Erwin,” she says to him, and Erwin nods at her, giving her all of his attention. He loves Kiva the same way he loves Levi, after all.

“I believe you. It’s a shame our Levi doesn’t believe us.” Kiva grins, and Erwin ignores the long-suffering sigh Levi exhales. Erwin can see the smile behind the glass Levi’s drinking from, and he hasn’t received a kick for his troubles. 

“We’re going for a walk when you’re done,” Erwin says, sitting back in his chair. He glances to Kiva and feels her watching him. The air seems to grow heavy and Erwin can feel something, something uncharacteristic. He can sense Ardis watching him, and she makes no move to avert his thoughts and yet…

He spares a glance towards Levi and sees warm eyes and nothing more. This is Levi baring his soul, and Erwin would never let this opportunity slip from his grasp.

Erwin isn’t used to touching anything but Ardis’ fur and horse hair. Perhaps when he was younger he chased cats, but he can’t remember. He runs a hand shakily down the curve of Kiva’s back, and he can feel every bone underneath his knuckles. Her fur is soft, and Erwin turns to stroke her head gently, his breath uneasy as it rattles in his lungs. He has never been this nervous, but then Kiva butts his hand with her head, and her tail coils around his arms and every feeling of unease escapes him. 

On delicate paws, Kiva comes to sit on Erwin’s lap, and he meets Levi’s steadfast gaze. He lets the cat curl in his lap and keeps his hand moving over her fur. He wonders if he could ever stop and doesn’t quite know if he could. His hand looks massive compared to Kiva’s slight frame, and how has he never noticed quite just how small she is?

Erwin cradles Kiva as if she is the most precious thing he’s ever laid eyes on. She is, really, for she is Levi’s, and Levi is the most precious one. To touch another’s daemon is something sacred, something rare for not many people can open themselves up to love so unashamed, but not once has Erwin felt wrong in touching Kiva.

While Erwin was hesitant in touching Kiva, Levi is different. At some point Ardis had come to sit by Levi’s side, and she whines low in her throat, feeling the sense of rightness that lies in Erwin and Kiva touching. Levi reacts as soon as the sound ends, falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around Ardis. She paws at him, and Erwin feels as if the very life of him has been sucked out and replaced by everything he’s ever felt for Levi and more.

Erwin feels happy. More than happy. He feels as though he could destroy every titan over the walls with a single glance. He knows that it only feels this way because it is Levi touching Ardis, pouring his love into her through his skin, and relaxes fully, allowing Kiva to perch upon his shoulder and around his neck, as she is so fond of doing with Levi. She purrs softly into his ear, whiskers brushing his cheek as Levi loosens his embrace.

Ardis is too heavy to carry when they leave the shop and while Kiva can hide when Erwin pulls his hood up (Levi scowls at that – how come Erwin’s jacket gets a hood and his doesn’t), Ardis has to stay out in the open. Levi makes a point of brushing against her gently whenever he can, even resting his hand on the nape of her neck when there are no passers-by. The touching of another’s daemon is still somewhat foreign to them both, and they don’t want others to intrude, but nothing has ever felt so right. 

They spend the day tangled together and then fall into the coach home. If the driver notices anything, he keeps quiet, his pig daemon nodding its head at them and squealing happily. Perhaps it can see Levi’s fingertips curled around Ardis’ hair or the bright colour of Kiva’s eyes as they peek from his hood. Erwin has never been subtle about things he wants, and he doesn’t intend to start now.

Unsurprisingly they’ve managed to miss dinner, but Erwin doesn’t mind. He is too full on Levi’s emotions, as ridiculous as it sounds, and he pins Levi to the wall when they are back at the headquarters, kissing him without abandon. He feels Kiva slip to Levi’s neck and understands. While he will not hide what he feels, discretion is always a path better trodden. Erwin doesn’t care if the whole military force knows, but he does have a job to do and doesn’t wish to expose his private life to everyone from the top soldiers to the new recruits pissing themselves.

“It’s fucking freezing out here,” Levi says, and Erwin wraps an arm around him, pulling him close as they enter the building. It’s not much warmer, and Erwin knows their rooms will be freezing. He’ll light a fire when they get in, and the daemons can get into their bed too.

They sleep in a strange pile of human and daemon. Kiva and Ardis get pushed to the end, but they don’t have any complaints as Erwin pulls Levi close, kissing him under the covers they pull over their heads to keep out the chill. 

In the darkness, Levi looks years younger, and Erwin rubs a hand across his cheek, kissing Levi’s lips gently. He goes to speak but realises there isn’t anything to say and kisses Levi again instead. Erwin falls asleep with a lightness in his chest he’s never thought he’d have again, and the one he’ll spend the rest of his life with in his arms.


End file.
